Building Trust in a relationship is not easy. It depends on a variety of factors, the people involved, the expectations of the two individuals, and the type of relationship you are seeking. 

Some would suggest, or perhaps many, that trust is the foundation for all relationships. However, is that the case here in a sugar relationship. Depending on what type of sugar relationship the two parties are seeking, it may be a factor here as well, perhaps even a very strong factor. Lets take a more examined look at the type of dynamics played here shall we.

Why is trust important in a relationship. I am sure you can list quite a few reasons why. One of the most important reasons, which we often hear in sugar dating, is the word connection. I want a connection with this person, regardless if its a sugar world or the real relationship world. Trust therefore, is the overall arching umbrella to that special connection with the person you are seeking to establish something with. How to get there, has always been the issue.

Here are few pointers in getting you in the right direction, and hopefully cementing that very important quality, trust, and how to build it.

Keep your word. This means exactly what it states. Keep your word and promises to your partner, whether small or large, and this will go a long way in building up trust. Make sure if you cannot do something, do not over promise as well, that you tell and cancel this with your partner. Again, building up trust by small increments, and this is one of the best ways to build that foundation. 

Clear Talker. What is a clear talker? It is someone who tells their partner exactly what they feel. They do so in a very clear and concise manner, so there is no misunderstanding or misconceptions. Easier said than done you say. True enough, there will always be misunderstanding in a relationship, the key here is to minimize and avoid it as much as possible. Think of it as a formula to success, the clearer you are in your words and intentions, the greater the trust is being but up.

What About Patience. I think if you read a 100 books and 100 articles, each one will list at the top of their list for foundational trust, would the word patience, underlined and bold it. Patience can take many forms in building up trust, but the one key consistency is don’t be so quick to judge. Take a breath, re examine a particular situation, and you make find a different outcome or conclusion. Patience is indeed a virtue when it comes to building up trust.

Understand. Understand what exactly you may ask? That is the million dollar question here. The underlying action here is offer sympathy to the other side. The old adage of walking in someone’s shoes, is the perfect quality to have in building up trust. By doing that, you can see where you partner is coming from, what they see, what their feelings are, and what they expect. By stepping over that line and seeing things from their perspective, may offer an opportunity to solve things, and regain or build up that trust.

Sharing. Sharing is a difficult one at the best of times. What information do you share? Do you share all of it? Or do you share only things that are relevant to the situation and in context. There are many questions here, possibilities as well, with experts giving advice all across the spectrum. My advice is do what you think is best. Don’t lie of course, but giving information is something you will decide on your own terms, and decided what information is best to give, or keep for another time. No one can answer you that. You will know what’s best to make sure the bottom line, trust, is achieved.

Sorry. Saying sorry is a critical and fundamental point in an trust for a relationship. I knew people who could not say sorry, even if they knew they were 100 percent wrong. The reason they could not say it was because ego got in the way. The terrible green eyed monster stopped from saying sorry, and it ruined the trust, and in the relationship, because of such hubris. Its not that hard to say your sorry, especially if you are wrong. On top of that, there will be times to say sorry, even if you are not at fault, simply to keep the peace and trust in the re

Limits. What do we mean by limits? Experts will refer to this as boundaries in other terms. That means to listen, learn, and respect someone’s lines. Easier said than done. There will be times when you are angry, jealous, mad, and even hate the other person at that particular moment in time. There may be good reason for it - and there will be boundaries or lines crossed. There is no doubt about that. If someone tells you they never cross boundaries, that is not only untrue but unrealistic. The point of the exercise and rule here is to limit the times you cross the boundaries. To stop yourself at certain times, if possible, to make sure you are aware you may something your regret. This of course takes not only great patience, as we we discussed above, but also great discipline. Discipline is something that needs to be worked on, and built up very much similar to trust. If you can use discipline in all key and stressful moments where you believe you will say something regrettable, than do use restraint. If you can use this, you will be much better off in building up trust now, and down the road in your relationship.

Self Love. Always hated that term. Sounds like a movement from the hippie generation. Whether it is or not, I do not know, but there is some truth to that. If you are in place where stress, anger, etc. are involved with you, there will be greater attempts at less trust, or lack of trust. The key here is to give yourself a break. That you are a good person, and that you simply have to let certain things go, and move on. Try to have a good positive spirit, and this more times than not, will help you gain trust of your partner.

 


Written by: 
Joyce DeWitt