I used to be a Sugar Baby, and a damn good one at that. Here is my little journal article telling you the real truth about the sometimes fun world of sugar dating. All taboos are off the table!
Beyond the Taboo: Exploring the World of Sugar Dating
My Financial Freedom
From my experience, sugar dating allowed me to feel financially liberated, something that no job did for me. With a shrinking bank account as a student, it didn’t take much for me to entertain the idea of a sugar daddy. It helped me concentrate better on studying without the ongoing worry of part-time jobs and student loans.
Sugar dating appeared to me like a blessing which would release me from the financial burdens of having to work off student loans and other jobs. Being a student, earing my daily bread was a real struggle. The idea of receiving financial help from a sugar daddy was not only appealing, but realistic. Here are some key aspects of this financial freedom.
No More Part time
I was able to concentrate on my studies without needing a part-time job. Most students require a part-time job, which consumes their time and energy, that could be better spent on their studies.
Student Loans Kiss Off
My education was made easier as I had to take on a significant debt to pay my fees. I did not have to worry about how I am going to manage to pay for the next semester or any living expenses in college.
Better Life
Having a sugar daddy helped me have a better lifestyle as I could eat in swanky restaurants and wear designer clothes which would not have been possible otherwise. In addition, I could travel in luxury also.
How I Become a Sugar Baby – I Was in Strong Need of Money
Start
When I look at my experience of sugar dating, I feel like those payments are just the tip of the iceberg. The journeys of many, including me, involved bargaining with different people, certain types of arrangements and an emotional process.
First Conversations: Making The Stage
When I first started sugar dating, I discovered quite quickly that this was not something to offer up on the table. They are typically brought up right from the start. My sugar daddy and I often go for a cup of coffee or dinner, where the specifics were discussed. My sugar daddy pays me an allowance, which is basically a payment for our relationship even though we don’t see it as a job.
Let’s Talk It Out:
Our convenience was important in this discussion. It was not only regarding the money. Before we made things official, we were very careful about each other’s unavailability and other boundaries. For example, my sugar daddy would request I spend a certain number of times with him in a month. I would negotiate based on my schedule and capacity. Our agreement was based on open communication. Always remember this, because if not, it can cause you trouble down the road.
As we progressed, so did the money aspect.
The more we got close, the more money I would be getting from him. My early meetings with him were interesting. He paid me Rs 500 a month for meeting up twice a month. As we got to know each other better, we met up two times a month with a 500 allowance.
We began seeing each other at least 4 times a month, and I received a $1500 allowance. It’s not really about the cash – but rather what it says about your valuation of our time together.
Emotional and Mental Impact
Getting paid my salary was cool but over time I realised there are other emotional and psychological aspects to take care of.
Vulnerability
You don't’ have to accept their coercion or pressure because you are broke. With the power imbalance, sometimes it can seem you don’t have much of a choice here. I know of people who ended up agreeing to things they didn’t want to because of money problems. When you depend on their money but want your own freedom, it’s tough.
Stress and Instability.
If you're a sugar baby relying on sugar dating for cash, it can get stressful. It’s a game for a reason, don’t play theirs! Bad moves in SD can often cause drama. There have been instances I fretted whether the arrangement will end soon or whether I will bore my sugar daddy.
Genuine Connections.
Apart from money, most of us really seek authentic connection and friendship. Connections people form aren’t necessarily transactional in nature. There are times when I tell myself I'm only in it for the romance, because the relationship has more of a financial link. These relationships truly felt real and not merely a business transaction between two individuals.
My Personal Experience
Sugar dating is a complicated thing for me. The opportunity to change one’s situation due to money is most useful for a student or someone with a lot of financial pressure. When both parties respect each other, sugar dating does not face any problems at all. Sugar dating relies heavily on negotiations and respect from both sides to make sure that nothing goes awry.
It's great to have money, but don't forget love and respect as well. Making it a point to reach mutual agreements rather than one-sided is a good idea.
Complex Sugar
Sugar dating has a reputation of being one-dimensional and a transaction, but it is much more than that. However, my relationship was multifaceted. It included friendship, emotional help, and occasional sex. The timelines were clear, and our relationship blossomed with mutual consent and understanding.
The Beginning
Right from the beginning, my relationship with sugar was mostly friendly, even before it became profitable. We engaged in usual dating practices like dining out, traveling, and participating in our mutual hobbies. We did all the things you do in a relationship including going out for dinners, trips, hobbies, etc. Sugar dating is also about friendship and companionship.
Supported me Emotionally
We also provided each other emotional support. We wanted each other’s emotional comfort which added more value to the arrangement. The sugar daddy did not only benefit from my support. Having someone to vent to made him feel good and added to his happiness. This relationship was fun for both of us; we both offered comfort and sought the other’s comfort.
Unusual for Me.
We were intimate in our relationship, however we drew the line at sexual activity; our relationship was based on respect. We talked and agreed on the dose of “ladylove” we could share and were both comfortable with, and never put pressure on the other. We had good communication to ensure we respected each other’s space limits.
See Clear
The very clarity of our boundaries and expectations was the most important aspect of our sugar relationship. Right from the start, we talked about what we needed, what we wanted and what we wouldn’t stand for. We were able to enjoy the relationship without any miscommunication due to this. We regularly checked-in and communicated about our respective boundaries to help us adjust these boundaries as necessary.
Both of Us Are in This: Remember
Respect For Both of US
Our relationship was built with mutual respect and appreciation for each other's boundaries. We were mindful of each other’s physical, privacy, and emotional boundaries. This respectful behavior builds trust which is essential in any relationship. We both acknowledged that our sugar arrangement was about more than just money. We took steps to ensure that both would enjoy the arrangement mutually to live away from stress.
Power Dynamics Did Exist
According to me, the power dynamics in a sugar relationship are rarely considered in writing. Despite the focus on the financial aspect of the relationship, both have plenty of powers to negotiate and set terms.Of course, the relationship is sometimes one-sided with one having the majority of the power. However, that is never the case with any sugar relationship. As both parties mutually benefit from the arrangement, neither holds more power than the other.
Conclusion
All in all, my sugar dating experience wasn’t just a one-off deal. Our relationship was not just physical but rather a relationship that involved companionship, intimacy, emotional support and clear boundaries. Because the relationship was complex it was more fun and satisfying for both.
Takeways : Steps to Find a Sugar Daddy
1. Casually look through various sugar dating sites. See what works best for you. Of course, we suggest our own iluvsugar.com. However, not one shoe size fits all, so take your time.
2. As with all dating apps, creating a great profile goes a long way. Remember, don’t cheat with fake photos.
3. Set some clear expecatations for yourself. It’s not all caviar and gucci right from the get go.
4. Safety, safety, and more safety. Always trust your instinct, and always protect yourself.
Related Keywords
Here are some related keywords that can help you in the world of sugar dating:
- Sugar Daddy
- Sugar Baby
- Allowance
- Arrangement e
- Spoiling
- Mutually Beneficial Relationships
- Luxury Lifestyle
- iluvsugar
- Profile Verification
Written By: Julia Stowles B.A., B.A.,
About the Author: Julia Stowles former model and style fashionista for 20 plus years.
Disclaimer: Sugar and Style is subjective. It is part confidence and part good taste.