What’s a deal breaker for anyone on a dating site? Someone who is a fraud, or a liar, or cat fishing, or fake photos. Its all in the same pot. When someone begins a conversation with you, and you are excited, and somewhere down the road right before you are about to meet - out comes the bad news.
Now, does it matter if you find out the news on your own, or the person comes clean hoping for repentance? For me, it doesn’t make a difference. Other than being peeved, that my time has been wasted by this person, and they were told from the get go - don’t be a fake. Hate that when it happens. I know for men, many sugar dating sites are filled with overseas Chinese women posing as American woman, with American cities and names. The tell tale sign is to closely look at their photos. If each photo for example looks like it is a cut and paste in a famous background. Or, each photo is perfectly centred with them in it in some stylish outfit - i.e. the shots are just too perfect. Everything seems perfect in these photos. That’s a tell tale sign. Another one is, if you check their ethnicity - even though you may see a completely white or black or Asian girl, they always slip up and put in “mixed”. That is another sign of a possible catfish. The biggest and easiest get is when they attempt to talk to you. Whatever word app or translator they use its never perfect - it is always a bit off. You can catch it in the tenses they use or the phrase they use. You can also tell if its an agency they are using. When I mean “agency” they use a template from some agency overseas in China that has given them a template of how to set up their profile. You can find this same template being used on most popular dating sites and sites like twitter. The tell tale signs are they are always in finance in the profession. Sometimes they own several businesses, and they love talking about bitcoin for no reason. That is another tell tale sign - you ask them a question about ice cream, and out of nowhere they will answer about their sister, or their bitcoin, or their financial situation.
The final piece of advice that you could be led on by a fraudulent person is when the relationship is moving two fast. For example, I had numerous times women put up their passport photo and information in only our second line of conversation. Why - who knows, but an American or English speaking person would never do that, never. So, be wary out there. Yes, the old adage applies if its too good to be true, it just may be. As well, its not about the money that has been spent, but morose, the time and the expectations of finding someone finally! That is what hurts most in these scams. I am sure you as a reader has come across horror stories in the dating world, or even had an incident or two of your own on these sites. Be careful, and choose wisely.
Deal Breakers in a relationship.
Deal breakers in a relationship are many depending on the partner and the stage of the relationship. In the beginning when things are not very serious, most let the other person slide. However, as the relationship goes farther, the red flags or deal breakers began to pop up sooner or later. What are the deal breakers? There are too many to mention, but lets take a look at a few which are common in all relationships. T
Bad Behaviour
The first would be behaviour that in any manner that is abusive, be it emotional, verbal or physical. That is a big no for most people. Unfortunately, there is a small percentage that hang in there, but that is for another day. Your partner should always, and I repeat always respect you, and any deviation of this they should be dropped as the proverbial hot potato.
Breathe
When we say breathe, every relationship must have space to operate and grow. The last thing you need is someone to suffocate you i.e. is always around you, around your space, and give you no alone time. You do not want a person like this. If you do have someone like this, set some boundaries with them to see if that solves the problem. If it does not, and continues, then you know you have a deal breaker here. Since, this person is unlikely ever to change, unless they begin to examine themselves more closely at their own behaviour.
Arrogance.
Is this a good quality in anyone? Well, some people are attracted to this. It seems vanity or lack of self reflection can be a quality unnoticeable in the beginning of a relationship. The idea here being that people will put up with mostly anything if the other person is attractive. Well, as the adage goes, looks fade over time, mother natures cruel joke, and along with it, will eventually shine the persons arrogance or vanity. So, bite this red flag in the butt before it bites you in the relationship.
Hygiene
You would think this would be a given, without the need of a topic on its own. You would be surprised at the amount of people who list hygiene as one of the last things they think of or do in the day. Can we simply state this as one of the relationship commandments? Thou shall not stink. Thou shall bathe regularly. Thou shall not be a slob. Simple enough rules for your potential mate to follow so you don’t break up with them.
Laziness.
This quality or lack of quality is a trope seen in many rom com movies. The man is lazy as can be, a slacker, and the girl gives him one too many ultimatums - get a job you lazy git! Lack of ambition is a big red flag, since that is one of the most unappealing traits in an individual. This red flag needs to be immediately nipped in the backside once you find your mate is a lazy slug.
Written By:
Anders Hedberg