Jitters on your first date: How to Solve them Fast!

Who hasn't had jitters on their first date? What to do - what to dress - how to act? All these questions and more can be answered in our comprehenisve guide. Come see the modern dating answers to these old and forever first date questions at iluv sugar. 

 

Quick Index  

• Introduction

• Preparation

• Mindset

• Communication

• Date Experience

• After the Date

• Conclusion

 

Introduction

Going on a first date may sound both exciting and intimidating. First dates are a chance for you to impress your date. You can build a connection, but there is also pressure. To have a successful first date, you must learn how to prepare, what mindset to have, how to communicate, and how to deal with it. If you’re heading out for coffee, enjoying something fun, or just looking to break the ice, this guide will help you feel confident and have your first meeting go well.

 

1. Fashion Prep Work Your First Date.

Now, it is essential to pick an outfit that is stunning and stylish but also comfortable so that you don’t feel conscious when you go in for a hug (if you choose to do so!) . Choose a dress that suits the occasion and makes you feel confident. It’s not being overdressed but showing that you made an effort with your appearance. Choose something comfortable as it will help your personality shine through. As the well known fashion stylist Alex Longmore states - wearing the right clothes can make or break the date!

 

Choosing the right location or activity:

The location for a first date is going to set the tone for the day. Choose a place where you can both chat easily such as a café, casual restaurant or walk. An active activity like mini-golf or checking out an art gallery for the first date helps break the ice. Choose an activity that works for both you and your date.

 

Homework

It is great to be spontaneous but also think on your feet and have some backup conversation starters in case you run out of topics. Just check their chats or social media handles to know more about their hobbies and favorite show etc. Find a common interest to create an instant connection on first dates to ease each other. 

 

Normal to be Anxious

It is completely normal to feel anxious before a first date, nerves often come into play. Take a deep breath, remind yourself it’s just an opportunity to find out more about the other person and tell yourself you have plenty of chances. You can also listen to a song, workout, or speak to a friend before the date so you’ll feel better.

 

Being on time

Getting there on time and wasting your date’s time: Getting there on time shows respect and sense. Make sure to plan in advance for timely arrival especially if you are not familiar with the location. Being on time for your date can make things a lot easier. Besides, it allows you to get ready for your date.

 

2. Mindset & Manners

 

Fun vs Pressure

When preparing for a first date, approach it in the right frame of mind. Try to see the date as a chance to enjoy yourself and meet someone rather than under pressure. Focus on having fun and forming a connection without placing too much weight on yourself or your date to meet great expectations.

 

Listen to your date

Hearing your date is one of the most attractive and appealing traits in a date. Look in their eyes, ask your-date follow-up questions if they share something that interests you, and try not to check your phone. When you’re present, your date will feel like you respect them and care about what they have to say.

 

Taking a genuine interest

Asking meaningful questions: Questions beyond the work or the weather help communicate more than just surface-level banter. Ask them passionate things, dreams or any funny childhoods. Showing curiosity about who they are is a great way to build trust.

 

Confidence is attractive

Hhumility is approachable, meaning stay down to earth. Talk about where you shine, but not how you shine. Also, don’t shy away from making fun of yourself, or saying you don’t know something.

 

Be Graceful.

Embarrassing moments happen, but take it in stride. If for some reason you stumble or the conversation lulls, laugh it off and keep going. Always be proud of yourself regardless of the situation. These moments can actually make the date feel more natural and memorable.

 

3. Communication

 

Don't Hog the Conversation

When you talk about your favourite hobbies and don’t notice when the other person stops listening, you may dominate the conversation. Share what you think while keeping your date comfortable enough to share what’s on their mind. Dip your toes rather than dive right into the topic that’s heavy or personal.

 

Body Language

What you say without saying it can be as important as what you do say. Use an open posture, genuine smile, and comfortable eye contact when speaking. Leaning in a bit when something interesting happens is way more engaging than the boring intensity of stare.  

 

Homework a little bit.

Learn what to keep and what to toss. It’s best to choose something that’s engaging and cheerful. Topics such as a person’s hobby, favorite movies, and travel stories are nice. Unless you are sure it won’t get serious, do avoid the topic of politics or religion. Don't talk about serious negative subjects to avoid getting a dark vibe.

 

Flirt A Bit?

Complimenting and teasing your date builds chemistry when it makes them smile or laugh. Don't overdo it or make your date feel uncomfortable! Hear them out seriously and try to match their flirting level.

 

Be Upfront

Don't hesitate to establish limits and guidelines. Even though the first date is all about getting to know the person, it is okay to state your general intentions. During the first date, whether you want a serious relationship or just a fling, do not hesitate to be clear but do not overwhelm.

 

 

4. The Big Date

 

Ideas that come to mind

Generally to have dinner and coffee. However, you need to think beyond that to make an experience memorable. Have a picnic in the park, try out a cooking class together, or go to a farmer’s market. A unique date allows you to create some cool memories, and you can focus on other things besides talking.

 

Make Sure To Adapt

Nothing goes perfectly and that’s ok. If your restaurant is closed, volunteer to find another restaurant without losing your cool. If things went wrong, be flexible and easy-going, which often makes the date more enjoyable.

 

Tips for Fun Dates

As the saying goes, “humour is a great way to create a fun relaxed atmosphere.” Share humorous anecdotes or funny observations about your surroundings. Having a relaxed attitude helps your date feel comfortable and makes the experience wonderful for both of you.

It can be tricky who pays the bill and money talk would you say? Be ready to pay if you asked someone out on the date but offer it as a choice. Ask if they want to split the bill” keeps things respectful. Whenever you choose to do it, think to manage gracefully and not make the date focused on it.

 

The the End of the Date, Thank Them:

As the date comes to a close, it’s only appropriate that you thank them for their time. If you like them, let them know. Saying goodbye is a great way to end a date. It’s all about ending on a positive note.

 

5. After the Date

 

Nice text or nice message

It’s always nice to follow-up with a quick text to them like, I had a great time tonight- Thank you!It shows that you value the time you spent together. If you want to see this person again, you could tell them that you would love to meet again. 

 

Reflection

Think about how you felt on the date. Did the words come easily? Did you feel a spark? You can find out whether or not you want something more serious. It could take at least a day or two! While we can sense that spark, the question is… Is it Love or Lust?

 

Should you go for a second date or move on?

I don't know about you, but I think a second date is a must. If you don’t feel it, ok move on. Don't waste time; be honest with yourself. Still, you might be wrong sometimes, so getting another chance is not so bad if you’re up for it.

 

How to deal with rejection and being rejected.

Rejection is involved in dating - period. Being rejected doesn’t show your true worth. If you’re rejected, moving on is fine. If you’re rejecting someone, then you should be polite but clear. Like the old bandage saying – clean and fast!

 

Taking the Lead

If your connection sparked interest, take the lead on the next steps for a second date. Maintain regular contact with playful banter in the days after your first meeting. Just go ahead and call yourself a flirt!

 

 

Conclusion

A first date should not be perfect but a good one. It’s important to remember that not every first date will result in romance. However, each date counts as practice towards the next one. If you stay true to yourself, and show a bit of interest, you will definitely leave a great impression. As they say, this will create opportunities for the future. Have fun and enjoy the moment the date the most you can!

 

Additional Information

 

Key Takeaways.

* Prep is important.

* Wear comfortable clothes and be in a safe public place.

* It's just a date - so enjoy it.

 

+ Engage in the conversation and listen!

+ Ask meaningful questions

+ Don’t hog the conversation

 

iluv sugar Questionnaire:

 

Pre-Date Preparation.

1. What clothing makes you feel comfortable?

2. What are your favorite three places for a date?

3. What conversation topics are your favorites?

 

During the Date.

1. How well do you listen on a scale of 1-10?

2. What two topics you won’t bring up?

3. How will you handle an awkward moment?

 

Communication Checklist.

1. Can you give a sincere compliment?

2. Describe Your Flirting Style In 3 Words.

3. Care to share your thoughts about future dates?

 

Post-Date Reflection.

1. What did you enjoy about the date?

2. Will you be go on a second date? Why/why not?

3. Did you find something new about yoursef?

 

KEYWORDS

+ fun / relax / communicate / be safe / a good mindset

  

FAQ

Q: How do you calm down before your first date?

Try to take your mind off it and just enjoy! Keep in mind that you will be meeting a new person and having fun.

 

Q: What should be my First Date Conversation Topic?

You can discuss a range of topics including hobbies, travel experiences, favorite movies, and childhood memories. Discussing politics or religion is a no no.

 

Q: How long should my first date be?

First dates should usually last between 1-3 hours. There is no rule on how long a first date should be but one or two hours is normally a good time. Choose somewhere you can talk naturally. You should be able to walk out fairly easily.

 

Related Topics

1. Improve my dating skills

2. Improve my outlook on dating.

3. Communication skills

4. Modern Dating Navigate the Apps

 

Written By: Anthony Rand. B.A., B.A., LL.M.  

 

About the Author 

Anthony Rand is a relationship expert with over 35 years of experience in the dating world. He has helped individuals navigate the complexities of modern relationships. He has authored numerous articles on topics ranging from online dating strategies to building lasting relationships. He holds degrees, including an LL.M. (Master of Laws) and two Bachelor of Arts degrees.

 

Disclaimer

Please remember, there is much variation and diversity in life. Within this variation come various expectations and differences. What may work in the article above may not work for others. While this article does provide great insight and strong fundamentals it cannot answer all the issues. It is limited in its scope, since every relationship is different. Follow your heart and mind to see what works best for you.

 

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