There are several different terms used for ice breakers, in its simplest form, they are simple creative quips, sayings, comments that are designed to initiate conversation from the other party.
Introduction
There are several different terms used for ice breakers, in its simplest form, they are simple creative quips, sayings, comments that are designed to initiate conversation from the other party.
Quick Index
1. What are ice breakers in online dating?
2. Types of IceBreakers
3. How can icebreakers be used to start conversations?
4. Benefits of using ice breakers
5. Do’s and Don'ts of using ice breakers
6. Conclusion
1. What are ice breakers in online dating?
Definition
There are several different terms used for ice breakers, in its simplest form, they are simple creative quips, sayings, comments that are designed to initiate conversation from the other party . Moreso, they are also done to impress the other party - with your wit, intelligence, and humour if available to put into that ice breaker.
Goal
The goal of course, is to spark interest in you, and establish a connection with the other party
Don't forget, at iLuvSugar we have our icebreakers to help you in your dating adventure. Come take a look at our quips our writers have come up with. Here are some different types of ice breakers based on a variety of subject matters and styles. These can be considered a littler primer guide to give you direction and ideas for your own ice breakers.
2. Types of Ice Breakers
Question opening icebreakers.
Let’s not forget ice breakers based on questions - that this needs to be nuanced. Simply asking a dry question, may not elicit any response. It may even do the opposite, and the other party may mark you as being dry and boring. The key here is to advance beyond the initial question, and ask something personal, without becoming too personal. For Instance,
- If you could only choose one historical figure to have dinner with, who would it be and why?
- What is your favourite film, and why is it so special for you?
- What is your favourite CD, and why has this band or song become your favourite?
- I see that you love fitness, what is your favourite sport to play and your favourite sport to watch live?
Funny ice breakers.
This is another nuanced area of ice breaking quips and comments to the other party. Humor is a very subjective area, what you may find funny, the other person may not. Or even worse, they may find it offensive. So it is best to use mild humour, even corny at times, is still good and valid, as long as the humour elicits a positive response and reply from the other person. Cheesy and old pick up lines, altered in a humorous and innocent way may elicit some reply or response.
For example -
- Are you a magician? Everyone else disappears when I see you!
- Have you worked in Wi FI before? I ask because I feel a connection.
- Excuse me, I think you dropped something, it is my jaw!
- Is your name GOOGLE? I ask, because you are everything I have searched for.
- Are you a parking ticket? Why? Because you have FINE written all over you!
We warned you, they are cheesy! For better lines, come on in to iLuvSugar where you will find, we hope, some better ice breakers by our authors! Do not forget that humour is very subjective, so you should use odds that favour you - using ice breakers that are inoffensive, non sexual, and non prejudicial. Keep your quips to the sections we will discuss moving forward if you are not comfortable using humour to be that initial ice breaker.
However, if you are able to use humour - since it is a strong suit of yours - then as the adage goes, interest and love happen because of one’s sense of humour. It is a huge attraction for many, the ability to make one laugh and think at the same time, no greater quality than humour to have at times. This is especially true for those ice breaker times which are all so important to getting that first impression in towards another individual. Remember though, there is always an exception to the rule - in this case humor. It is very subjective - what one person may find funny the other may find crass and unfunny. Comedian beware!
Observation ice breakers.
This can be viewed as a safe and innocent way to try to break the ice with someone new. The simplest definition would be from the famous sitcom Seinfeld, where all his humour was observational. The best example of observational humor from that show, was the classic set up lines of the following: If the drink is called Oval-teen, why isn’t the mug oval? It’s round! Gold Jerry, gold! As the line above shows, classic observational humor can be quite funny, innocent, and yet engaging. All the things that are essential in a good humoristic observational ice breaker.
Now, to be more detailed and nuanced in this form of ice breaker, you need to see the person’s profile, to see their likes and dislikes, and get an attempt to form some opinion of what topics may interest them. That is the key for observational humour, to get them to talk to you about a topic they are familiar with.
Ice breaker Environmental Observation.
As the heading applies anything that is immediate or of interest to the person that surrounds them. For example,
- This club has a cool vibe, what do you think?
- The artwork you posted on your profile is quite interesting. Where did you find this, and when did you get interested in it?
- Such a pretty dog, what’s his name? Have you had him for a long time?
Another version or viewpoint of observation ice breakers is to see what travel environment they are in. This would mean any type of vacation pictures or physical activity photos. If they are vacation pictures, see if you too have been there.
If you have, then it would be easy to add any type of quip or ice breaker - such as - have you been to this place before, have you tried that cafe before, what did you think of your overall experience, is there any place you visited that you loved, or is there something you forgot to do there? A whole host of questions and ice breakers await if you can find their favourite spot they travelled to.
Ice breaker fashion observations.
This is by far one of the simplest topics to break the ice with. There could not be another stronger area of interest than someone’s fashion look or attire. Simply look at all their photos they have posted, and you should be able to see, quite easily, the type of clothing they enjoy. For some, even a particular style. You can pick out one photo to comment on their style, or choose a series of photos to see her overall style.
You don’t have to limit her fashion style over all, but rather, pick up on one thing that stands out for you or her, or both. For example, look at her shoes to see if she likes a particular style of shoes or a particular brand. Who does not like a particular brand - men with their sports names while women with their favourite fashion names. Even if you don’t know the names, do a search on fashion brands, and you will be overwhelmed by all the designers. Simply pick out a name, and ask them is this their favourite designer? Or do they have a favourite designer?
Isolate even further simple things such as the type of jewelry she wears. Or look at the handbag she perhaps has, some women love to collect or love a particular designer of handbags and the names do not stop in the fashion world. For men, it’s even simpler - choose one of shoes, watches, t-shirts, or even coats. Men love having a particular brand, or colour they always wear. It takes a bit of a trained eye to catch on and see, but you notice that people tend to post similar types of photos - regardless of their environment
So, let’s work with a simple example for a woman. You notice she has a large bag on her arm. First thing would be to notice the size, and the colour. Also, if you are a bit more astute you can see what type of bag it is - which is based on size. A clutch, handbag, a tote, and the list goes on. The easiest form of advice would be to see if you can see the brand or if she happens to mention the brand in her profile. Then it would be quite simple to do an “ice breaker” based on that information such as the following:
- You have great taste!
- What type of bag is that? It’s quite fashionable.
- Wow - that is one great looking bag!
You can apply this to any object of fashion you see on the person. Better yet, try to do an image search on the item. If you are able to find the complete information on the item, then you can make some observational quips “ice breakers” on anything you find of interest in the product.
For my own personal experience, meeting someone through the fashion experience works best. It’s something I know very well, and I am genuine about. You can do the same on any topic.
Ice Breaker Animal Observations
Who doesn’t love animals. Actually, strike that, if someone does not like animals, it is doubtful that any potential match would like them in return. Animals are loving, innocent creatures and most make wonderful pets. Unconditional love as they call it.
Now, if looking for an ice breaker here - see either on the person’s profile or their photos if there is any indication that they have a pet, or had a pet. Sometimes the mention of their pet could be in their text responses on their profile. Other times they ask to meet someone who has pets, or a specific pet. The easiest type of ice breaker can be found here.
- That’s an unusual looking breed?
- Do you have any pets?
- Your dog/cat is so cute, what’s their name?
Here, in this realm, animals and pets are one of the easiest ice breakers to form and make a series of quips and ice breakers. They need not be funny, rather they should be informative, and quizzical. Even better for the person sending the ice breaker, if you too can offer something of yourself and interest in pets. Simply mention you love/have pets, or mention what type of pet you have or would love to get in the near future. You can also state why you love pets, or why that particular breed of pet? What characteristics that this animal has that you relate to most.
Better yet, to make it even more personal and engaging of an ice breaker, you can send a picture of your pet and say what do you think? This may offer the person the opportunity to engage by replying “how cute” or “how adorable” and opening up a flood of possible questions and queries from the other party that goes beyond simply the subject matter at hand.
In the end, everyone loves animals. Moreso, if there are any pictures of animals, or text mention of animals, particularly if one’s own, this offers a great opportunity to come in with a personalized ice breaker. It offers the opportunity of having something in common, a love of animals, a common interest, a specialized interest, and perhaps an interest in the future which you can share with the other individual potentially.
Ice Breaker Sports Observation
Sports are a great unifier in almost all aspects of social life. Who hasn’t played or watched sports once in their life? The only market difference is when watching sports. Here the sexes are divided. Many men love to watch sports on TV, considering it themselves almost or indeed a hobby or interest. While women on the whole are less interested in watching sports on TV then their opposite sexes. When you are attempting to use sports as an ice breaker for the person you are interested in, there are few first steps you should follow.
Firstly, look at the profile along with their text and photos to see if there is any interest in sports. Whether to watch the sporting event, or participate in that event. If you see a clue somewhere, then it will be much easier to begin a short ice breaker. How to differentiate the two.
If the person participated in a particular sport, it is quite easy to get that person’s attention in an ice breaker. Simply mention how interesting, or cool it is to see that person in that particular sport. Numerous ice breakers exist here - such as - when did you start playing that sport? How did you get interested in that sport? Do you consider yourself any good in that sport? The questions and ice breakers are almost limitless here. You could further ask how invested were they in that sport? Did they participate in any particular league later in life, and did they play it in school or at a collegiate level? The list again is endless here for ice breakers.
If the person did not play in a sport, but you do notice their affiliation to a particular sporting team. Then simply do a short search on that team and sport, see why they are popular in their market, and then begin to use that information in a series of ice breakers you can use. The following would be such examples - how did you root for this team? Have you attended any games of that team? Who is your favourite player on that team? Are you happy with the team’s performance this year? Why do you like this team? Are there any other teams you root for? As you can see, there are any number of ice breaker questions that you can ask that will be quite good.
In sum, asking about someone’s sporting life and habits, as well as their favourite teams is an easy way to begin an ice breaker. It is sincere, honest, and offers the other person to view you as someone who has read their profile, and is interested in what they have to say, and what they like to participate in. All essential qualities of a very good ice breaker.
Ice Breaker Car Observations
Most men love cars. It’s that simple. Generations upon generations have fallen in love with the automobile generation. Design and prestige play a big part in men’s lives depending on their stages of life.
Some love cars to impress, others love it as a hobby to collect, while others love the design aspect of it. In the end, both sexes can appreciate the appeal of certain automobile. So for either sex, if you see in either their profile or photos images of cars, or in particular their car, it offers an opening to build upon a short ice breaker.
Numerous ice breakers can be implemented here. Can state how much you love their car, or how much you love their taste. You can ask if they participate in the sport of auto racing. Has the person ever attended an auto racing event, or would they like to attend one in the near future.
- You can offer an icebreaker - how did the person get into that particular brand or name of car?
- Is there a car they aspire to.
- Is there a car they consider to be the most beautiful?
As you can see, there are numerous openings and remarks one can build upon in the ice breaker car conversation and observation. It simply takes a bit of research and a sharp eye to spot the opportunity to begin with a properly worded car ice breaker.
Ice Breaker Friends Observation
No, this is not a quiz on whether you love the series FRIENDS or what your favourite episode was - and whether Ross really deserved Rachel - hey, some of us had a crush on her! Rather, this is to do some social sleuthing on the person’s profile, text, and or photos to see various things.
Primarily, how many times do they mention friends, or have photos of their friends in their profile. The reason for this is that you want to gauge how social a person is. This clue may also be front and centre - depending on the app and website - that it explicitly asks how socially active they are. This however, is not to be confused with how active they are on social apps and media, which is a totally different animal, and a more difficult one to gauge I may add.
Judging by your analysis of how active they are with their friends, you can pose several innocent ice breakers based on this interest - such as -
- Your friends seem important to you.
- Do you have a best friend, or do you have several best friends?
- Did you meet your friends in high school or later in life?
- Do you still keep in touch with your friends from high school?
As you can see, there are quite a few possibilities in delving into the societal niche of how active and how many friends one has, and how open they are posting this on their profile and information table on various dating websites and apps. Leaving the opportunity for someone to send various different and potential successful ice breakers on this topic of interest.
Entertainment Ice Breaker .
Entertainment can take many, many forms. Too many to list here. The most popular ones would be music and film. Through a quick search on someone’s profile, text, and photos, you would be able to see what the person is interested in either one or both areas.
Let’s first start with film. There are various levels of film enthusiasts. Some take it quite seriously, while others are simply casual film watchers, who list their preferences in their genres. They define their likes to film genres, and within that genre have their favourite films. Once you figure out how serious or not serious they are about cinema, you begin by asking them any number of available ice breakers.
- What is your favourite film
- Any particular time of cinema you enjoy best?
- Who is your favourite actor
- What is your favourite TV series
- What is your favourite genre of film?
- These are my favourite films...
- I really like this genre.
For music, similar to film, it is used by many to gauge one’s compatibility. One can remember back in high school how groups would form based on their particular love for a band or for a type of music. For some this has still not changed. The ability to see someone’s interest in music, type of music, or type of band, easily affords the person the easiest of ice breakers to begin the conversation and engage.
I would conclude that film and music are two of the easiest ice breakers to begin with. More importantly, some people use the other party’s interest in film to gauge their compatibility. Let’s not forget, liking the same band or same film, allows you to talk even further about this area of interest - allowing one a growing credibility and likeness from the other party. Certainly, one of best and easiest ice breakers available to any party.
Summary
- Quickly establish common ground
- See potential compatibility
- Create opportunity for meaningful conversation
- Build rapport through a shared cultural like
Compliment Ice Breaker
We can easily say this is the most over used ice breaker of them all. Cue in all the available lines, both cheese and non cheese, of how hot you are, how pretty you are, how sexy you are, and you can fill in the rest.
Misrepresentation
It is not a bad idea to compliment someone, however, doing so strictly on appearance can have several negative side effects to your credibility and the ability to be liked. You took into consideration the following, the person probably gets hundreds of similar messages. It does nothing to separate you from the crowd. Also, sometimes a complement can be written in the wrong tone - where it becomes overtly sexual or crass, or both - resulting in the person dismissing you outright as being crude, and someone they do not want to know or talk to.
Best Means
The best way to compliment someone if you do want to on their physical, to do so in a very polite manner, while at the same time, adding some other interest along with for your ice breaker. Simply stating outright that they are super hot, or super attractive will not get you far in the ice breaker realm - unless of course, you are also super hot and super attractive and the ice breaker will not really matter at all in the end.
3. How Can Ice Breakers be Used to Start Conversations
Quite simple. It’s a technique to give an opening to a person, that is short and clever, to instigate a conversation with the other party. The opening dialogue will hopefully allow the person to make a very good first impression, and begin the march to online dating and hopefully an online relationship.
4. Benefits Of Using Ice Breakers
Critical First Step
Ice breakers offer the ability to begin meaningful conversations with new individuals, and at the same time to forge new connections. It is an ability or skill to create new clever ways to “break the ice” and make a great first impression with the person you are interested in, in the world of online dating. It allows you to then tailor and send your ice breakers to many different people you find interesting. It is a quick, harmless, and successful way to meet new people, and hopefully forge new relationships in the online dating world.
Nuanced Thinking
Using ice breakers can be a nuanced process. It also depends on the website or app you are using. There are a multitude of types of dating apps, and sugar dating apps, and every other type of dating in between. The first thing you must do is gauge the quality of your audience. Ask yourself - what type of dating app or website is this?
By gauging the correct audience you allow yourself a little bit of leeway, and the ability to tread carefully here. Even though your ice breaker should be tailored to your audience from that particular app and or website, make sure to always be not crude or overtly sexual. Nothing turns off another party with lack of etiquette or proper manners when addressing someone the very first time. Err on the side of caution when first attempting an ice breaker with someone regardless of the site or app you are on.
5. Do’s and Don’ts of Using Ice Breakers
DO -
One cannot stress strongly enough, regardless of how cute or clever your ice breaker is, it always needs to be sincere and genuine. Make sure it reflects a bit of your own personality. Don’t be afraid to massage the messages of the ice breaker till you have something that is a message you would like to receive in kind.
DON’T -
As well, keep your ice breakers devoid of any sexual remarks, or innuendo. It's okay to flirt, but it is a fine line, and you want to make sure you are on the right side of the line. You don’t want to do anything that hurts your chances of a conversation, and the person is no longer interested in what you have to say no matter how clever your icebreaker is later.
DON’T -
Never bring politics to an ice breaker. or for that matter the initial stages of conversation with an individual you are introducing yourself for the very first time. Nothing can inflame or anger a person more than by a very divided area of politics. This can always lead to misunderstandings, judging people too quickly, or simply dismissing them.
Text writing , especially in the area of politics, is very easy to be misunderstood and for the person to shut you down further in any conversation with them. The only exception to this rule would be if the person puts their political affiliation or belief on their profile in some manner. Then you can slowly offer some short ice breaker insight comments or questions to gauge their seriousness or interest in the political subject they posted.
DON’T -
You can add to this list any views political or not that can be construed by the other party as extremist in nature or narrow minded. This has no place for a dating website nor should it be tolerated or brought up. There are a multitude of views and opinions that should not be written about or sent to others on a dating site. Use caution, good judgement when using an ice breaker to someone
6. Conclusion
Online dating ice breakers are an art form. It is the gap between initial attraction and meaningful conversation. Success hinges on understanding the balance between creativity, sincerity, and respect. Effective icebreakers go beyond clever lines, instead it is a genuine invitation to someone.
One must carefully observe a potential match's interests and likes, and then craft a personalized approach. It is here you must maintain authenticity, that is the key. The best ice breakers are those that best reflect your personality, written sincerely, and with a bit of luck - in a clever manner to gauge interest from the other party. Ice breakers are not that difficult.
As you have read in this article, the key is to simply see and read about the personas interests and likes. Once you have found them, then simply send a little ice breaker based on that interest or like of that particular person. With that always use civility, manners, and sincerely. That alone should get you far in succeeding with the many and various ice breakers for the various dating sites out there.
Keywords:
- Ice breakers
- Online dating
- Communication strategies
- First text impressions
- Dating apps how to use them effectively
Small Questionnaire:
1. What type of ice breaker do you find most comfortable using?
2. How do you usually approach starting a text conversation with
a new person online?
3. Can you identify three interests you might use as an ice breaker?
4. How important is humor in your initial online interactions?
FAQ Section:
Q: What is the main purpose of an ice breaker?
A: To initiate a conversation and spark interest. .
Q: Are compliments effective ice breakers?
A: They can be, but should be thoughtful and not
focused on physical appearance.
Q: How long should an ice breaker be?
A: Short, clever, and personalize the ice breaker.
Takeaways:
- Personalize your approach based on the person's profile
- Be genuine and sincere
- Observe their interests (sports, pets, fashion, entertainment)
- Maintain respect and civility
Written By: Anthony Rand. B.A., B.A., LL.M.
About the Author
Anthony Rand is a relationship expert with over 35 years of experience in the dating world. He has helped individuals navigate the complexities of modern relationships. He has authored numerous articles on topics ranging from online dating strategies to building lasting relationships. He holds degrees, including an LL.M. (Master of Laws) and two Bachelor of Arts degrees.
Disclaimer
Please remember, there is much variation and diversity in life. Within this variation come various expectations and differences. What may work in the article above may not work for others. While this article does provide great insight and strong fundamentals it cannot answer all the issues. It is limited in its scope, since every relationship is different. Follow your heart and mind to see what works best for you.
Questions: For further inquiries on the subject, please email our company email.
Article Updated January 23, 2025