A lot of people once in a while either read or get the though of I want to be a sugar baby! or sugar boy toy! Let's not discriminate people - more than enough money to go around!
Listen, I’m not saying I’ve Googled “how to become a sugar baby” at 2 a.m. while aggressively eating dry cereal out of the box, but I’m also not not saying that. Look, times are tough, rent is high, and men who voluntarily pay for dinner without side-eyeing the bill are basically an endangered species. So naturally, I’m intrigued by the world of sugar dating—a land where financial stability meets romance, or at least an extremely well-dressed transaction.
But before I dive headfirst into this caramel-coated conundrum, I need some ground rules—five pillars to keep my dignity, my sanity, and my bank account intact.
1. Intentions Matter — What Am I Here For?
Experience
Let’s be real: There are levels to this shite (yes. I am British!). Am I trying to land a sugar daddy; or a low-key sugar daddy who also mentors? Clarity is key. When you enter into a sugar dating relationship, it is not only about the cash. I have to spell out what I want, before an overly-cologned CEO does. Plus, I have to be honest with myself: Am I doing it because it genuinely has appeal, or am I just tired of my bank balance gaslighting me? I am not signing up because adulting isn’t cheap, I’m doing this because I can get behind the arrangement. Before getting into sugar dating, I want to make sure that I’m comfortable with the concept and it’s not just a band-aid for my tragic budgeting skills.
TAKEAWAYS
- Always define your goals upfront— don’t end up in a situation that you never signed up for.
- Be honest with yourself why you want to do this.
2. My Boundaries are not negotiable
Listen
If I enter into this world I need to know what I will and won’t do – emotionally, physically, logistically. Will I tolerate 3am texts? Weekly foot photos? A weird pet name that makes me sound like an exotic bird? Whatever the case, my comfort comes first. If a guy thinks he can throw money at me and that breaks my boundaries then he can sugar-date himself.
Also, let’s talk about emotional boundaries. Sugar dating might look like a transaction, but human nature is complicated. What if he wants more than I’m willing to give? What if I catch feelings (yikes)? What if he’s suddenly all in for love but I’m just here to get paid? I want a gaming plan for this, because the last thing I need is to have an existential crisis inside a five-star restaurant.
TAKEAWAYS
- Set clear rules for yourself on what your comfortable with
- Always prepare for the possibility that emotions might get involved - especially from the other side.
3. Financial Literacy
Learn It Well
While it is cute to have a man pay for my Chanel bag, what’s cuter? Knowing how to invest that money. If I do this, I want to be smart about it. Savings. Investments. Maybe even a Roth IRA. The objective of sugar dating is to help transition into traditional relationships, not a subscription.
The key is thinking long-term. A $500 dinner is fun, but financial freedom is sexy. I aspire to be a woman who takes all the benefits and flips them into something meaningful, whether that’s a business, an investment or a way to get out when I’ve inevitably gotten tired of dating men old enough to remember dial-up. I want to leave with more money and lessons learned if I have to do it.
TAKEAWAYS
- Don't splurge on fleeting luxuries. Save some of that money.
- Learn how to negotiate that benefits you.
4. Safety First — The Only Thing I Want to Catch Is A Flights to Cabo!
Not the Movies
This isn’t a rom-com; it’s real life, and safety is paramount. Background checks? Yes. Meeting in public first? Absolutely. Sharing my location with my bestie before any meet-up? Non-negotiable. No amount of designer shoes is worth putting myself in a sketchy situation.
I also need to trust my gut. If something feels off, I’m out—no explanation needed. And let’s be honest, some men think “sugar dating” means “I own you,” and that’s a hard no from me. Power dynamics can get weird fast, and I refuse to end up in a Dateline special. I’ll keep my wits (and pepper spray) handy at all times, just in case.
Extra
- Always vet your potential sugar partners. Always meet in public first.
- Trust your gut—if something feels off, then walk away.
5. Your Self-Respect Above All
Because I’m the Prize, Sweetheart
The sugar dating game isn’t about being desperate, but being empowered at the end of the day. I will leave this relationship as soon as I feel like my worth is compromised. Money is great, but my peace of mind is priceless.
I want to walk away from sugar dating—whether that’s a month, a year, or never at all—knowing I stayed true to myself. "I don't need to justify my choices to anyone but I do need to ensure I like the person I see in the mirror." A man, who wants me in his life, sugar dating or not, better realize that I am not a perk. I am the whole deal!
So, will I actually try sugar dating? Maybe. Maybe not. But if I do, I’ll make sure I’m the one running the show. You know, I just might try sugar dating. But if I actually do, I best be the one calling the shots.
Takeaways
- Never let money make you feel obligated
- Remember sugar dating is a choice, you are in control.
6. Emotional Detachment
Feelings Are Not Part of the Deal
Sugar dating might have a glamorous appeal, but emotions aren’t meant to be a part of it. The moment I begin to mix a little work with pleasure, it becomes a mess because most sugar daddies do not want a relationship rather something for nothing.
My waiting for his text messages, similar to that of a teenager in love, or getting jealous of his actual girlfriend, means I’ve fallen. I’ll never get blinded with love as it was never a relationship but a sugar deal. All I need to do is protect my heart and remember that.
Takeaways
- Always keep in mind that sugar dating is transactional at its core although this can change.
- Establish your emotional boundaries early in the game.
Final Thoughts:
Sweet, But Not Naïve
The world of sugar dating is about riches and power, as well as negotiated boundaries but not for the faint-hearted. In order to do that without losing sight of myself, it takes confidence, strategy, and a strong sense of self. If I choose to enter this lifestyle, it will be on my terms, with clear intentions, firm boundaries, financial smarts, and most importantly, my dignity.
Whether I am sugar dating or enjoying a tub of ice cream on the sidelines, one thing remains true: I’m the catch and I won’t let anyone treat me like something that came from the clearance bin.
Tools of the Trade
A Sugar Baby Starter Pack
- A great website to start off like iluvsugar.com
- A great profile, no cheating!
- A Support System
- Come up with a plan
FAQ
Curiosity Killed My Cat
Q: Is sugar dating just a fancy word for escorting?
A: NO! A big fat NO. Sugar dating is more about companionship and arrangements.
Q: Do sugar babies always have to be physically involved?
A: Nol! Some arrangements are strictly platonic.
Q: What’s the biggest red flag in sugar dating?
A: Anyone who refuses to respect boundaries, strings you along or tries to pressure you. Then, get out!
Written By: Julia Stowles B.A., B.A.,
About the Author: Julia Stowles former model and style fashionista for 20 plus years.
Disclaimer: Sugar and Style is subjective. It is part confidence and part good taste.