Relationships and energy. If you were to ask someone what that means, you would get a cornucopia of different answers. Now most, if not all, would agree that one needs energy in a relationship and between individuals. Without energy, regardless of one’s sex, identity or gender would not exist. Only energy makes a relationship exist. 

Most psychologists and sociologists say that individuals, relationships and dating with energy offer various complex situations and connections between various people’s sexual and identities. This essay will briefly look at some of the different variations in these types of energies in relationships and how these complexities work.

SOME OF THE FORMS OF ENERGY RELATIONSHIPS

THE SIGNS OF A NEW ENERGY RELATIONSHIP

When you first have a new relationship, there’s a certain form of energy that is not present at any other time during the course of your relationship. We call this “new energy”. Individuals describe many different characteristics of this energy - the primary being a new excitement, a particular form of intensity - both personally as well as sexually.

CHEMICALS RELEASED

Sociologists and physiologists state that at the beginning of such new relationship energies that there are chemicals in the brain that make you feel good. These are most likely dopamine. As well as other more less known chemicals increased in the body during attraction. With the release of these drugs within your system, people describe various feelings. Some of you can call that a euphoric high. Some have even become obsessed if there is too much of a good thing some experts have argued.

Regardless, whether that feeling is natural or based on a chemical reaction in the brain, all would agree each individual wants to spend more time with each other in the early stages. Simply put, they want to learn about each other in a much deeper understanding and way. These are the signs of a “new energy relationship”.

SEXUAL ATTRACTION

It doesn’t take a scientist to understand that a new energy relationship is at its peak right at the very beginning of any new dating relationship. There is no other time, or one sexual longing or physical attraction to their partner is greater. This is it. This is the peak. Most sociologists and psychiatrists agree that this peak - obviously - is temporary in nature. While some argue the duration of it - this depends on the individual, the culture and the society. Most are in agreement though, that this peak lasts approximately anywhere from six months to 2 1/2 years. Interestingly enough, almost everyone also agrees that during this sexual or physical peak, that one’s judgment can be clouded. The clouding of judgment is not only the relationship, but of outside issues as well. Consider it a vortex of attraction that can have positive and negative effects. This is the “new energy relationship”

PHASE 2: Established Energy

Next on our list is what they call “established relationship energy” or the acronym for very short as ERE. This phase or placement of relationship will begin right after the ending of the sexual initial phase. In this new second phase, you are now in a mature place, a stronger place. You know the individual and they know you. This includes all of our foibles, negatives and drawbacks. A little ponchy, a little bald, a little heavy. It is all accepted by your mate. Some argue there is even a trade here. While your sexual energy may have gone down, your security and love has gone up for this individual. Call it an even Steven of trades. Interestingly enough, after 2 and a half years, most sociologists agree your true self has revealed itself. Now a common sense individual would say it could be much sooner than that since not being yourself is a very difficult task at hand, especially day in and day out. The most important criteria to be successful in phase two, that sociologists (and mostly everyone else) would agree is that you must put in time into your relationship. Not just time, but particularly “quality time”. Sprinkle this with the occasional surprise. The repeated mantra of “I love you” and other forms of sincere flattery. Don’t take this person for granted. If you do this, then it will naturally build trust and security with yourself and your partner.

The result - “energy connection”

By doing all of the above you will have forged what many have stated as a healthy relationship. How people describe healthy relationships are varied depending on the sex, gender, age and culture. But most would agree that there is an energy here, a “connection energy”.

What are the main elements of a healthy relationship?

Let’s take a quick look The most important element partners - when asked this question - for what is a healthy relationship - that there’s a genuine energy in their connection between each other. They always state that their partner values them. How their partner values them can take place in many different directions and forms, but primarily they state the partner listens to them. Listen to their suggestions, ideas, arguments and problems.

Many also speak about the other person’s ability to not only validate them, but to make them feel their authentic self. They could be at ease being themselves day in and day out. Added to this form of value, is they talk about not being judged by their partner. As well, if they are being judged the ability to do so in a constructive manner without casting aspersions or negatives comments towards them. In addition, they all speak of the crucial element of communication. The ability to talk to each other at any moment to get their viewpoint across. A viewpoint they say that is met with very little resistance or judgment. By doing all of this, the energy connection shows you will have strength and a bond that will be hard to be broken unless done so by unilateral action of one individual. On a side note, many sociologists state that these new forms of modern relationships create a safe haven or the dreaded words “safe space”. The term was not used here because it can be misconstrued, and it definitely has a negative connotation and with good reason. Being in a relationship is not easy at the best of times. In any form, micro triggers, etc. have no use in a proper healthy relationship.

Static Energy Relationship: The Negative

Sociologists state there is a neutral or negative energy that is never static. The energy defined between two individuals that changes as the course of the relationship moves forward in time. Think of it as a science experiment. In the first phase you have energy that draws you together. After this phase is over, you begin to have a shifting of energy. This energy moves up and down depending on your compatibility to resolve those issues. If you’re not able to resolve those issues, energy dissipates and becomes lower as does the attraction. 

Conclusion

In the end, whether a sociologist, a psychologist or a common individual on the street “energy” is something that couples must look at closely during the various stages of the relationship. A viewed prism of an “energy relationship” can give you signals. Signals that will help you to improve your relationship. Energy are important markers in the modern dating world of finding your true mate.

Written By: Anthony Rand