Why is it important to have shared interests? Can a relationship survive with minimal shared or interests, or does a couple have to have a certain level of shared interests. Lets take a deeper dive shall we.
What are shared interests? An easier more graspable term would be the simple but often used phrase - common interests. The ability for a couple to enjoy the same activity, whatever it may be.
What level of shared interests should we have - little, medium, or substantial. That is a difficult question to answer. Some couple survive on little interests in common, while other need the maximum interests for their relationship to thrive. It certainly does depend on the couple, the culture, their age, the length of the relationship. We will take a deeper look into this issue, later down below.
Should we find interests that we can both share? Certainly. It can never be a bad thing to enjoy an interest together. However, some relationship experts would argue there are personal interests that each person has that would not be healthy for the other person to enjoy it with them at the same time. For example, a person may enjoy a football game without their mate. It may be a time for them to get together with other friends, and experience commentary and issue separate from their mate. This is also very healthy since everyone needs outside interests away from their mate. The reasons are many, but primary by being away from your mate you can enjoy other activities with friends you may not be able to do so with your mate. As well, the experience is different, and you may make opinions or comments your mate would not understand, approve, or disapprove of. Its always a healthy desire to do things separate from your mate.
What is the point of shared interests. That is the most common question. Experts would suggest that it makes the relationships stronger by making a better connection, a stronger bond they would argue. That doing activities together, over time, makes your relationship that much stronger and more fulfilling. Would you agree? Some would not - there are couples who have gone through their whole lives without having any or little interests together (opposites attract theory) and they have led great lives and had healthy relationships with their mate. Experts would argue, while this is true, the statistics show the greater the similarity you have in interests the more likely you are to succeeded in a long lasting and healthy relationship.
How the Experts See it. What are your opinions on shared interests. In the end, there really is no right or wrong answer. It is up to each individual and couple decide what interests they have in common. Then to decide if their is overlap in their interests if they want to include each other in their interests. If not, they could venture out and try new interests together, thereby preserving and keeping individual the interests they had before they became a couple. There a multitude of options, as well as a multitude of levels of interest you can or do not want to participate it. Bottom line is, be comfortable in what ever decision you make, talk it over with you’re partner, and take it slow. See what you like and don’t like, modify, and plan a goal of sharing and happiness together.
What factors do the experts say make up the threads of Common interest.
Trust. is a by product they say of having a common interest. How does one trust elevate and strengthen you wonder? Well, it seems when you have a common interest with your partner, you begin to communicate more. Much more. With this communication it is said, then begins a building up of further trust, a foundation upon your already present foundation. The reason being, you both turn to each other, and feel closer, and enjoyment of a common denominator. One that brings fun, laughter, and some excitement hopefully. By going through this process, the pay off is increased trust.
Talking to one another. As mentioned above, common interests helps the talking and communication between the partners. Not similar conversation, but a different thread, an increased thread to the many strands of a relationship. By doing something new together, or a love of one or another, certain qualities rise to the occasion - one being such as vulnerability, sensitivity, and laughter. Let’s not forget, experts say these common interests need not be something extravagant, a physical event outside the home, or an activity outside the home. It can be minor and something you do in the home - discussing politics, watching your favourite type or genre of film. A love of cooking. Even the smallest, and most insignificant things to a couple from the inside, may seem trivial, it actually a bonding moment, that can only strengthen and grow as you continue to do this and other activities.
Commonality. Many different variations of this word, but the meaning we are trying to take from this is the concept of traditions. Or doing something repeatedly over a course of time at regular intervals that is aware to both parties in a relationship. So, for example. you would say to your significant other every Tuesday of the second week of every month we do this particular fun activity. This activity will be a go to traditional thing to do. We will always have this as long as we are both willing to do it. It also, may not be as formal as actually specifying a particular date or time, rather it can be quite informal. For example, watching a movie on Netflix, and you choose one night she chooses the other. Or, each week you flip a coin to see who watches what. Or, it can be this week I make the snacks during movie night, or you do it next week. You get the idea - make it a tradition whether informal or a formal schedule.
Summary. In the end, any form of commonality for an event or evening in, that takes place is always a positive and helpful strand in a relationship, that can only strength it as you go along together in life.