143 decoding the secret love message in the modern dating world.Everyone is aware and uses digital communication. It has brought forward a new landscape and communication between individuals, particular in the dating app arena. Various forms of expressing one’s affection have been created - such as icons, photos, memes, abbreviations, and of course, numbers. 

Some have referred to it as the new age of “love language”. For many, 143 is the most important type of all such abbreviations or emoticons. Most are aware that 143 stands for the words “i love you”. For some, this is not the most sincere form at times for the person receiving the message. But for most to hear those words, regardless of the context, particularly on a daily basis, does have significance. They even prefer it in this form. This brief essay will look at the context of 143 in the modern dating world. How this simple abbreviation can have such a profound effect on an individual as well as its use in the cultural landscape.

The original meaning of “143” and where did it come from? 143 is a numeral representation of the words “I love you”. It originally comes from texts in pagers. By punching in these numbers the other party would know what it exactly meant. Surprisingly, even though this term had originated in the age of antiquated pagers, it has now become popular once again in the new digital age of the world of dating and relationships. As mentioned above, 143 was believed to have originated with pagers and text messaging. However, some have argued that it is historical and its significance goes way back to the 19th century. Here’s a small and charming factoid that may be of some interest to people when wanting to say a cute historical fact in a group setting. Let us begin - in 1894 in the Boston Harbor, there was a lighthouse. It had a brand new lantern that flashed light patterns. In fact, in a crude manner it was programmed to flash in a specific pattern. Those would be the dashes of 1 - dash - 4 - dash 3. The people who lived in the community looked upon these dashes as the words “I love you”.

Quickly enough, the lighthouse gained a large following and the locals gave it the nickname the lover’s light. And that is how the original 143 became known to be the words “I love you”. Perhaps this romantic and charming little story - which adds a little bit of historical narrative - exposes the cultural significance of how deep and emotional the words can be. Even when referenced to three small and insignificant numbers. 

Fast forward to present day, somehow, from the lighthouse historical story 143 gained a new popularity in the age of pagers. Pagers were popular between the decades of the 1980’s to 1990’s. Since pagers at the time were quite limited in what they could display, people had to become quite creative. Users began sending various affectionate messages. Finally someone adopted the 143 to be a secretive way to send the message “I love you”. The pager era solidified "143" as a widely recognized code among young people, setting the stage for its continued use in the age of text messaging and social media. The transition from pagers to cell phones was seamless for "143," as early texters sought ways to convey maximum meaning with minimum keystrokes.

Surprisingly enough, some people say 143 has become extremely popular among the younger generations, particularly those who use social media on a daily basis. That may be true, but the minor mystery is how did 143 jump from the pager days to now the social media days? Especially since now “I love you” you can forward numerous ways - memes, icons and various other symbols. Perhaps because 143 offers a sense of nostalgia? Do they know it is rooted in cultural significance? Regardless, 143 has established itself amongst the younger generation and others as the de facto symbol/word numbers as the “I love you” go to.

Variations now of 143. One would think that the use of 143. is fairly restricted in its use. However, even in the modern dating world. with hundreds of icons and memes 143 also has a subtle use in various different situations. Let’s take a look, shall we? One such situation is when one is first dating someone. Instead of expressing the words “I love you” as some sort of serious and anchored emotion. 143 is used as a light substitute by its user. It is much softer in its tone and context, and much less intimidating for the person sending and receiving it

Another instance where “I love you” is replaced by the 143. This is when one sends a quick form of “I love you”. For example, during a very busy or hectic day. Some have referred to it as a digital kiss. Again, its use has been suddenly transformed from its original meaning, and by adding a layer, a certain nuance has taken place. Another way 143 has become entrenched in the modern lexicon of dating, relationships, in some instances, people use the word 143 as their own special secret message to each other. This can also be seen not in sending messages to each other only, but as well as in public social apps. When putting the message online and its view to everyone in a public forum The person receiving it will know what it means, but many others will not. Therefore. keeping the message somewhat semi secret, discreet, and not offensive in the public context that is presented in.

Some social examiners have said there is a psychology to its particular use. The 143 when used by the sender, that there is actually a nuance embedded within the 143. For example, by using the 143 it shows among some individuals in relationships that they are trying to create a space for privacy by using this particular numerical code in a public or social form. By using this, their love need not feel exposed nor their feelings. Others have stated by using 143 It shows that people in relationships have a basic desire and understanding for belonging to one another - this by sharing the 143 code it creates the aura of sending a secret to each other. That it builds up intimacy, love and understanding between the social couple.

The strange thing about 143 from its historical significance in a small lighthouse in Boston, is that it’s taken a life of its own in many instances. For example in the bizarre case of Fred Rogers or lovingly referred to as Mr Rogers. He in fact kept his weight at 143 pounds throughout his life believing that the numbers 143 represented love and this was a reminder to him on a day to day basis. In some countries the idea of having three numbers as a code for love has changed depending on the geographical area. For example, if you look in Thailand they will use the numbers 459 to state the exact sentiment of I love you as well. Also, many different forms of numerical variation variations have popped up expressing the sentiment in slightly longer forms. For example, 1437 now means I love you forever.

Finally, to see its cultural significance one need not look further than popular brands. They too have used the number 143 in their advertising to showcase their products. This indeed, shows how far the lighthouse has come from being firmly entrenched the 143 has become in our society. 


Written By: Joyce DeWitt