Dating thoughts on a Dom relationships and how they work in the modern dating world. We have all heard of dominant relationships. What do they truly mean? Yes, having a dominant versus submissive relationship can be quite exciting for some - namely, those who are interested and excited about an exchange of power relationship.
However, it’s not all fun and games at times in being in a dominant versus submissive relationship. There are various rules and boundaries one must follow to have a successful Dom relationship. This brief essay will take a look at what these particulars are. As well as the many issues and complex obstacles that await for those who will enter into a Dom relationship.
Those in the Dom lifestyle say a Dom relationship can be boiled down to one particular ingredient. That is - a power dynamic between the two individuals - one individual being the Dom, the other being the submissive. Let us always remember that this power exchange is one that is consensual between the two individuals. Between this power exchange the submissive agrees to follow their lead Dom partner. The question then becomes as to what extent or percentage will the submissive allow this exchange to occur. Let’s look at more in detail the elements of a Dom relationship.
Prior to any Dom relationship beginning, there has to be mutual consent between the parties. A consent as to how much power is given back to the Dom Most importantly, this all must be negotiated prior to any start of a Dom relationship. Another very important ingredient is the issue of trust. The submissive person expects and demands that the Dom will act responsible in all situations. That the Dom will always have their best well being in mind when performing any form of power dynamic. Of course, the above two elements cannot work with one of the most important elements being communication. Communication is paramount in a Dom relationship, especially when considering the various boundaries that are pushed at times in a Dom relationship. Make sure you communicate before and during any play for any particular issue that arises. This communication needs to be first - honestly and open. This is crucial in any successful Dom relationship. Finally, regardless of the activities or the power imbalance that occurs between a Dom and sub, there still must be respect between the two individuals, and particularly towards the submissive individual. Without this mutual respect a Dom submissive relationship will not work - whether it be in the short term or long-term.
Following up all of these elements, of course, after a Dom sub relationship play there must be care for after the events have occurred. This is particularly important, especially after very intense Dom sub play - making sure the sub is always comfortable and safe in the play. There are many various different dynamics available in a Dom sub relationship. The Dom relationship can be simply in bedroom play or it can go all the way to an entirely 24/7 lifestyle. The type of Dom play you want between the individuals must be discussed, agreed, and consented before anything ever occurs. Consent and safety are always the primary keys here. Let’s look at some of the issues or challenges that face someone who wants to enter the Dom relationship in the modern dating world.
The first challenge in having a Dom relationship is finding a partner. Finding one in the vanilla dating world is not an easy accomplishment due to a limited dating pool. Best to always find dating apps that cater to the Dom lifestyle. Boundaries is another challenge that awaits newbies entering the Dom sub relationship. Identifying what you want, how you want it, and what limits there are for you, is always a fluid situation as it should be. The more you learn about the Dom sub relationship, the more you want to be sure that you do so in a consenting and safe environment. The transfer of power between individuals always takes time and with it, you will learn how to now navigate what you do and don’t like. For some who jump into the Dom sub relationship they want it to be a 24 hour experience. This belief system can sometimes flow into their daily work and life. How to balance this infusion or belief can become difficult without proper boundaries, and understanding how to accept it in your daily routine.
For those interested in the Dom lifestyle there will always be a particular stigma, misconceptions, and stereotypes at what exactly is a Dom sub relationship. Being misunderstood, if expressing your interest in Dom relationships, or involvement in one to friends opens up this potential pandora’s box. The idea of being ridiculed, looked down upon or judged. That is why most who are in a Dom relationship keep such matters private at all times.
One of the excitements is the power, intensity, or the emotional intensity one can feel in play. These intense emotions can sometimes have psychological imbalances. Both parties in a Dom relationship must make sure that they are careful about this. Of course it goes without saying that many BDSM areas of play need an individual who needs to understand not only safety but also any particular risks for diseases or injury. Always make sure that your partner is aware of the safety issues. Always practice safe Dom play. Make sure all individuals are safe now, and for the future by your actions. Finally, there is a fine line sometimes between Dom and abusive play. Make sure before anything starts that everything is consensual between the parties. The activity is discussed prior to play and if the sub feels in any manner that they are being abused, regardless of how minor, that the play stops immediately.
Let’s look briefly at some strategies for a newbie entering a Dom relationship and finding success. Firstly, to start have some introspection. That means look within yourself to see what you want in a Dom relationship, both physically, sexually and mentally. Do this before seeking any particular type of Dom or Dom relationship. Secondly, educate yourself about Dom’s and the Dom lifestyle. There is so much to know and learn in a Dom relationship. Different power dynamics, safety, as well as the various forms of Dom activities. In addition, you can always find such information not only in websites but attend personally at various workshops as well as events in the Dom community.
Also, be up front about your desires and interest in the Dom relationship with potential partners. Of course, you will not say this immediately until you feel comfortable in expressing your desire, unless, of course, you have gone to a particular web site or community for this particular group. Then, of course, it will make it much easier and quicker to explain your interests.
Most BDSM individuals give the following advice for someone entering the Dom and sub relationship - always begin slowly. Simply start off lightly in your play and as you grow comfortable. Once you have further trust in your Dom, then you can gradually increase the various forms of play as well as the intensity. Finally, make sure you always have a safe word. This is a backup to make sure that when you feel uncomfortable, simply state the word to your Dom to stop immediately. To conclude, for those who seek a Dom relationship, do so at your own speed. Never force anyone to do something you are not comfortable with, and find your happiness in small beginner steps as you enter the Dom dating world.
Written By: Josh Howard