Right off the bat, have to tell you not a fan of speed dating. I have always had these visions of what speed dating entails in various sitcoms and movies and it never ends out well.
In fact I would argue that speed dating has morphed into online dating. The principles seem the same, you get to see a lot of people in a short amount of time. The only difference, you don’t get off your couch, no need to dress up, and you lose the chance to humiliate yourself. Is this the only and real difference, or is there something more? Lets take a closer look shall we?
Speed Dating.
The birth of speed dating is actually confirmed surprisingly enough. One Rabbi Deyo - I kid you not - invented it in the latter part of the 1990’s. Why did the Rabbi come up with Speed dating you ask? It seems the Rabbi informed a very wise and astute observation. After witnessing a few dances he noticed only the good looking women and the men who were courageous ended up with dates. He said everyone else was plum out of luck. Why not he said increase the success for all people involved, not just the good looking ones? Why the intent is noble one has to ask, based on the Rabbis conclusions, one has to figure out then what group does that leave me in? That seems like a bit of a backhand comment - the lesser people and ugly ones need a solution. Hence, I need to go forth and invent speed dating!
Lets see the differences of speed dating versus all others.
The first is, you can state that speed dating is a more formalized process. Everything is set up for you, and people are vetted out properly. That is a good thing indeed. No use wondering if someone’s pictures are real, do they have a criminal record, and so on. Some agencies do a better job than others in the vetting process than others, but that’s standard for the cause.
The question though is do they vet our your particular preferences very well. My guess is no. Not as good as you would do online. Only you know what is good, bad, and pardon the pun, the ugly. The best a dating service could do is kind of put you in a group of either similar interests or likes, and maybe physically of what you are looking for. But I doubt that very much, otherwise you would see the Rabbis invention of speed dating all over the dating map - which it definitely is not. More of an acquired taste.
The other question I have is stamina and endurance. You go to a speed dating. Do you meet and greet these people before the sit down? Or are you allowed to mingle and see someone from afar knowing this is my best shot right here and now at number 15?
Another thing for speed dating - as mentioned above patience and stamina. It like a marathon, except here how long is this marathon? Do i get to see 10, 20 or thirty people? How long are the sit downs? Are we talking 2 minutes, 4 minutes, or 10 minutes? As well, by the time you are reaching the end, your best material and patience has already been tried long ago.
That is why you need to approach speed dating in a methodical and consistent marathon like behaviour. See how long you have. Pace yourself. Don’t waste yourself on someone who you know is not going to work out. Don’t be a hero of civility. You know who you are interested in, so give it your best 4 minutes.
How to Act on a Speed Date
I would assume it would be no different than a real date except with someone substituting your date every few minutes. A bit like ground hog day I would imagine. Rinse, repeat, and play over. Well, at least keep the fundamentals correct. That would be the following.
Attire. Still - dress to impress. No use dressing downmarket even if its a casual environment. Keep your outfit simple, neat, and not over extravagant. Keep doing things style wise you always did, no use to change up the game plan. Well, if you are one who is not a good dresser, there is an easy solution for that. Go online - see your favourite designer if you have one. If not, go to your favourite department mall online fashion retailer. Then, simply go over a few fashion websites you like and see what catches your eye. Whatever it is, copy the styles and colour as best you can, and you know, that you will have a decent outfit to go out in for your speed date. A can’t miss proposition.
How does a Speed Date Finish?
As you go through your various dates, you will hear a chime or bell, signalling to switch tables, dates, etc. There will be a final buzzer its all over, just like in a game show I would imagine. At the end of evening, you give the organizer the people you were interested in. If the same person has your name as well, then, and only then, will information be swapped giving you a potential date.
Conclusion
It seems while the Rabbi had good intentions, and some success, the speed date ritual has all but died off now. Even is speed dating you can be denied someone’s contact information quite easily. It is not all success. Also, the numbers are quite low - you might have 20 people max you meet that Night. As mentioned, by the time you do see someone you are interested in, your efforts may be in vain, since you have lost some patience, and some time from your effervescence self. Speed dating may be fun for a very short period,, and something new to try - but in the end, modern technology has taken over. The ability to see a lot of people, with your own filters, along with your own exact personal preferences, has made speed dating obsolete, and the rise and popularity of dating sites and social sites so much easier and better in the end.
Written by:
Angele Bastes