What is demisexuality at first glance? the word seems one of familiarity, but as one digs deeper, one realizes it is not as simple as originally believed.
If one looks at strictly the asexuality gender spectrum, you will find that demosexuality finds itself between two criteria, asexuality and allosexuality. To be clear, allosexuality is when one experiences any type of sexual attraction, even for a first time towards to an individual Therefore you will find demisexuality between these two pillars of asexuality and allosexuality. One will find themselves up and down the gender scale between these two sexual poles.
Let’s now look at some of the primary attributes. to being demisexuality. The first critieria, is the lack of of any type of sexual attraction to another individual. Unlike asexual individuals, Demisexuals take the next step. They can have sexual attraction to another person, but it is not based on any type of physical or surface level appearance. This belief runs contrary to many who would argue that one of the most important criteria for attraction is physical. To clarify, Demisexuals cannot have immediate sexual or physical attraction to an individual based on physicality and appearance.
The next step from asexuality. one is able to have sexual attraction being a demisexual. This only can occur with a connection, a specific type of connection. They call this an emotional connection. It cannoy be simply a surface emotional connection, but one that is extremely deep and bonding in nature.
Each demisexual will argue that this sexual feeling. may take course in their own timeline. Now this timeline might be days, months or even years for some. So the question becomes for the critics. If one can develop a sexual feeling after a few days, how different are you than a regular normative individual? The distinction demisexuals will argue that there is only one criteria that defines them. That is one must be attracted to somebody emotionally before any sexual or physical attraction becomes prevalent.
Demisexuals will state that any type of sexual attraction formed after a strong emotional bond ranges amongst individuals as to this type and variation of sexual attraction, and therefore the wide discrepancy has no defined level of attraction. It will simply vary from one invidual to another.
Demi sexuals like to strongly state that their orientation is not an absence of sex. That they are differentiated because sexual attraction not only occurs, it only occurs under certain criteria and conditions that must exist before they can move on to the next level of physical intimacy.
Let us look at now some of the challenges Demisexuals say they face in the dating modern world. One of the first issues demisexualis bring up in the modern dating world is a prevalent attitude and hypersexualization of individuals. Sex becomes first and foremost in any discussion or any interaction. Demisexuals will say there criteria is the opposite. The ability or want to get to know an individual on a very deep level.
This leads to our second issue, demisexuals will say they have a pressure to become sexually active with an individual very early on in the relationship. This may run contrary to their own needs, where they feel no physical attraction until there is a bond between the two individuals of emotional strenght.
The third issue is a demisexual states when they tell somebody that their demisexual that people tend to not understand or have misconceptions or even negative connotations about identifying oneself as a demisexual. This, they say, can immediately hamper any potential relationship and therefore sex relationship in the future if they are hindered in making their emotional bond at the onset
This also further exasperates and bring another additional problem finding. individuals who can actually respect a Demisexual person for their orientation. An orientation that is not a choice as some mistakenly believe, but rather they were born like this.
Demisexuals will speak that sometimes they may feel as outcasts of society, that they are somehow ostracized or forced to be different simply because of their gender orientation of being demisexual. This can bring feelings of negativity, isolation, and at times depression.
Demisexuals understand that by being Demisexual, one does have a certain difference or criteria in getting to the stage of sexual attraction. They argue that this emotional bond can take time depending on the individual, sometimes a very long time. Something that cannot be forced nor accelerated. If creating this bond takes a very long time for some, the likelihood of finding a potential sexual partner or physical partner diminishes due to the other partner not wanting to wait for this emotional bond to take place.
Regardless of these hurdles. demisexuals can have a strong lasting sexual relationships. Let’s look at some of the strategies that are used to form healthy and physical relationships in the modern dating world.
The first step in a successful relationship, regardless of one’s orientation, particularly Demi Satchels, is to accept and be self aware of your identity. Embrace your sexual orientation. Be proud of it. Understand there are many like you out there and many that will accept you for who you are.
Communication is a key. component. for any physical and sexual and successful relationship. between a damagesexual and any other individual regard. of their orientation or sexuality Always be open in your communication of who you are, what you are looking for and when this may occur. by being upfront and open with your potential partner. This can only increase your chances of a successful relationship.
For a damnisexual font, some find greater success in approaching a relationship first as a friendship. By putting no expectations on yourself and the other individual, this friendship can grow potentially form a bond and therefore allow the demisexual then to have sexual attraction towards that individual.
Some Debbie search rules actually have a strategy in place where they seek through various web sites to find individuals who are similar to their own. This means not simply being demisexual, but rather anyone who would like to take its slow and form an emotional bond before there is any sexual attraction. It is always welcome to tell a potential partner about your demisexuality if they are curious. Explain in detail. what it entails, how it affects your life, and what it could potentially mean for any relationship between yourself and this individual.
In the end, whether Demisexual or not, the key components of any successful potential relationship, openness, integrity and communication. will further enhance your ability to have a relationship not only sexual, but a long lasting one at that.
Written by: Joyce DeWitt.