This brief essay will look at the complexities and navigation in the modern dating world of being a heterosexual. We will look at both traditional roles in dating as well as. evolving. roles in the modern world.
Regardless of one’s sexual orientation in today’s modern world, romance can be at times a very complex and a nuanced difficulty. To begin with, heterosexual dating and having a heterosexual relationship is the most common form and accepted social form for various types of romantic partnerships. As we all know, heterosexuality means physical, sexual and romantic attraction to one who’s the opposite sex of oneself. The obvious example would be when a man is attracted to a woman, or vice versa, when a woman is attracted to a man That is a heterosexual relationship.
The lefts progressive interpretation of heterosexual dating would tell you that heterosexuality exists on a gender spectrum. This means that even though one is heterosexual and is in a heterosexual relationship at times, maybe is attracted also to the same sex. In addition, the individual may act out on their attraction to the same sex and have a form of intimate or sexual or permanent relationship.
Traditionall or centrists would argue that this is not the case. A heterosexual relationship is indeed 100 per cent heterosexual and that there is no gender spectrum. Furthermore , there is no attraction to the same gender, but only to the other gender. That the norm and standard of a heterosexual relationship is a heterosexual man attracted to women, or vice versa - full stop.
No one would argue that, compared to 30, 40 or 50 years ago, dating today is quite different than what it used to be. The reasons are many. Primarily the technological achievements that have made dating in certain ways much simpler to contact an individual. We can add to that that a large majority or a vocal minority also believe that the norms in modern dating have changed between individuals. That sexual identities have been blurred in a positive manner.
Let’s take a closer look at these changes and have a brief commentary on each. There’s absolutely no question the primary change in the dating modern world has been the rise and permanence of online dating. This is de facto the change the way people now interact and meet each other, and in the majority of people’s dating lives. The drawback to this, some would argue, is that now choice or the abundance of choice has changed the perception and method of the ways we date in the modern world. No longer does an individual meet someone and decide to be with them. Now they move on to their 2nd and 3rd and other choices. Playing the field has never meant so much as it does in the modern world. Is this a good or bad thing will depend on the individual and their perception of what relationships should be.
A second fundamental change is the way individuals gender roles are now have been expanded or altered permanently. The idea that men can only ask women out has been forever thrown in the dustbin of history. Add to that, the definitions of what a man and a woman are, have changed as well resulting in different needs and goals of an individual dating in the modern world. Furthermore, one could argue that the result of not only two binary genders dating and existing, but much more of diversity of genders in the gender spectrum for those of the progressive nature.
Another fundamental change, more of a by product of the changes in the dating world is that marriage has now been delayed in the age range of what used to be the norm. The reasons are many. The length of one education, the length of one’s potential career. as well as now the ability to live longer and enjoy life more prior to settling down and getting married. A delay of responsibilities and delay of permanent love, some would argue.
Let us also not forget an important social construct, that has been forever fundamentally changed. That is the idea of casual dating. There is much greater use and acceptance of not only the idea of casual dating between the sexes. Further, the greater increase in tolerance of sexual relationships between the sexes without any permanent stigma previously done by society, friends and other peer pressures.
Modernists will argue that in today’s dating world, the idea of strictly male versus female dating can be expanded quite a bit under the gender umbrella. Not only the type of gender you want to date, which still identifies as the opposite sex, but also different relationship types. This includes adding an individual to the relationship, having an open relationship and similar variations under that same relationship spectrum umbrella.
Regardless of how one today defines a male versus female relationship and all the variations that exist under it. The issues of gender identity and various forms of relationship, whether they be loose or strict, there are still issues and problems in the most basic of heterosexual relationships. Let’s take a brief look at a few.
The first issue to look at is the archetypal issue of what a man and a women are expected to be in a traditional form of heterosexual relationship. Well, I don’t agree with this particular issue. There still seems to be some areas of grey where women are expected to be on the sideline while men are expected to make the first move, whether it’s in the form of a date or a sexual advancement. This may or may not be true depending on the individual, the society and the culture they find themselves in. One would think in this day and age that the issue of who makes the first move, so to speak, would. be a non gender issue.
Another similar form of issue is regards to differences in the way each gender communicates to each other. Archetype still exists that the man must be aggressive while the women must be more passive. The man must be more dominant, while the women must be more subservient. Again, I don’t agree with this position, but it will depend on one’s culture and expectations of how relationship should be in a healthy environment
To conclude, there’s not enough time in a brief essay discuss all the issues in myriad of complexities in a normative standard, heterosexual relationship of a man and a woman. The idea is to find a balance of both love, happiness and satisfaction. And that will be not only up to the one individual but both individuals in a relationship to decide what their boundaries are and what their goals to achieve this happiness in the modern dating world.
Written By: Joyce DeWitt