Polygamy - we have all heard the word. What does it truly mean? Some would guess judging by several television shows it has risen in popularity in society, and has become more accepted as well.

That is debatable to say the least. Let’s take a basic and fundamental approach and see what this relationship type entails and is it plausible in the western world and its values. Polygamy, comes from the Greek language which means many and marriage. Hence, the idea and belief that a man can have several wives at the same time. This can be found in the animal world as well - where one male will have several different mating females. In the modern world, you can find many societies where it is the fundamental form of marriage, while in other Western states not only is it looked down upon, but it is also illegal. Proponents argue that there are a lot of positives to Polygamy, while others state it is not a viable relationship form, nor healthy to the women participants - since the man reaps the benefits while the women suffer under polygamy.

Let’s look at some of the positives proponents like to argue in favor of polygamy.

Religion.

Some argue, one has no choice in these societies where polygamy is the standard, and with good reason. It has worked for thousands of years, and it has become a bedrock of relationship structure in that society. In essence, the argument is “why mess with a good thing”? Others would argue, it’s antiquated, forced marriage, that is stuck in a time that no longer exists. That women deserve more than a part time relationship with a pecking order. That no religion or custom should define or tell a woman what is best for her. I would agree with the latter here.

Economics.

Proponents would argue that it is somehow better for economics. Perhaps in some certain small areas of efficiency - like household management - more could be done in a shorter amount of time. Another reason would be combined incomes, more wage earners, or that is very rare. Most would argue it hurts one economic status since you have more mouths to feed with less wages being earned. Those who favor the status of polygamy turn that on its face, and argue that pol;polygamy is a status symbol. The more wives you have must mean the more money you earn. That form of ideology and group think certainly exists to this day in many countries who still practice polygamy.

Some arguments say Polygamy is good and necessary where there are less males in society. Does anyone buy that argument anymore? Unless we are stuck on an island where males are truly trending downward versus the female population, this argument is quite a weak one overall.

Some argue that with polygamy is great in societies that value large families and a large offspring. That argument has merit, since on average, those men that do have multiple wives have numerous children, sometimes verging on the dozens. The question here is not the veracity of the argument, it is true, but the value of the woman in such an arrangement. The value of the children, in that how could they have an attentive male father figure with 5 wives, and tens of children?

Sex. For the male, it is surely a home run using a sports analogy. Have multiple flavors of ice cream to break up the monotony of having sex with one person. Add to that different sexual norms and traits by individual partners it's a win-win situation for the male. For the female that is an entirely different matter - sharing her sexual partner, as well as the lack of frequency and intimacy compared to a one partner only relationship.

Love. Some would argue that unlike in monogamy, people in a polygamy relationship just have more capacity to love. That they are not restricted to loving one person but many. That they are wired differently, or those around them are restricted in their love to one individual. By being in a polygamy relationship they are open to love and give love to as many people as they want. While this argument has merit theoretically, one must remember this is not an equal relationship of love. One partner gets to love many, while the other partners gets to love only one person. There is an inherent imbalance in this form of a relationship.

Let's look at some drawbacks to the polygamy relationship. The first and most obvious drawback would be the elephant in the room - jealousy. The more partners you have living with you, the more times that jealousy will become an issue. This is an issue that will never go away, whether with one person or multiple, it will always exist and bubble up at one time or another.
The idea of this alone would make one seriously consider the positives in entering into such a relationship and putting up with this on a yearly or monthly basis to tackle.

The ability to communicate. As we are always aware of in a relationship, communication is the key to a successful partnership. As well, there will always be times when you do not understand, agree, or be able to get your viewpoint across. A very natural and normal thing. Now, multiple this issue many times over, with various individuals and various dynamics in a polygamy relationship. Again, challenging with one individual, multiply by several, and you could have a mutiny on your hands. Not something that I personally would want to put up with in any relationship much less a polygamous one where this issue ramps up in multiples of difficulty.

The final issue which we will briefly touch upon, but in my view the most important ramification of polygamy, is the inequality that exists in such a relationship. You have one side, the male reaping all the benefits of such a relationship, while the other side, women, receiving all the negatives of such a relationship. Add to that the power imbalance, the lack of ingrained inequality, and the subordination of the women to the man in such a relationship, you can see how polygamy for most is a non-starter, whether legal or non legal in their country of choice.

Written By:

Aubrey Springs.