Sociosexuality what is it? I’m sure you have heard of different forms of sexual identity, especially under the ever expanding gender identity umbrella of the L LGBTQ+ plus movement. However, I would be willing to wager that most people most would not know what sociosexuality truly is.
Sociosexuality - the simplest and most effective definition of sociosexuality is a persons passion and ability to have sexual relations that have zero commitment between the individuals. By having this core belief the individual who is sociosexual sees through their own lens of how they will approach future relationships in modern dating. Of course this also applies to personal and sexual intimacy. Therefore, the ability to understand what makes sociosexual individuals work in today’s society in regards to their partners attraction. - and the idea of long term relationships gives us a better insight into the dynamics of sociosexuality.
As with most forms of sexual identity. sociosexuality exists on a very large spectrum. If we look at the spectrum from left to right, ground zero would be individuals of the normal hetero normative dating relationship. A form of having sex only in a relationship that is committed between the two partners. Far right of the spectrum are individuals who only have sex casually, frequently, and without any form of relationship of commitment between any partner or partners. The defining characteristics of sociosexuality can be found below briefly.
First, the attitude of a sociosexual towards having sex that is casual. Second, for having various casual sexual encounters, they desire many forms a variety. Next, they find themselves in various forms of intimacy, whether emotional, or sexual and find comfort within this area. Finally, within that sociosexual spectrum the various forms of preference in regards to individuals who are for short-term relationships versus long-term relationships. Moreover, how to find those partners in the modern dating world.
Proponents argue the very elements that make up sociosexuality. They discuss several factors primarily the environmental factor, the cultural orientation, as well as genetics of the sociosexual individual. Let us be clear here that sociosexuality is not a sexual orientation. You can be of any gender identity, or self identify as any gender, or be of any sexual orientation and still fall anywhere on this spectrum of sociosexuality.
Proponents of sociosexuality argue that ones orientation on this spectrum impacts the way you view and interact with dating in the modern world. The differences between the two spectrums. are quite large and vast. The differences are very noticeable and are opposite of each other. For those sociosexuals that find themselves at the far right of the spectrum the following are behaviours in dating that are found to be most common. These sociosexuals find themselves most comfortable with casual sex and casual dating. Those within this subgroup find the most important criteria in a sexual hookup to be physical attraction of their partner. They tend to be only comfortable in relationships that are short and non-monogamous and their form. Compared to the average individual their sexual promiscuity and the number of partners is much greater than those in the centre or far left of the sociosexual spectrum.
Let us now look at sociosexuals who find themselves at the beginning or far left of the sociosexual spectrum Their beliefs are entirely opposite of those who are discussed above. They only believe in dating with the belief of having or finding a long-term partner and relationship. Sex is only an afterthought. The most important criteria is to find a connection that is emotional versus a connection that is only based on physicality. They are primarily only comfortable with situations and structures that are based on monogamy. The number of sexual partners they have versus the opposite end of the spectrum is much lower and simply based on the number of relationships they have throughout their lifetime. Casual sex is frowned upon and not considered in an alternative to monogamous relationship. These two polar opposites in the sociosexual gender spectrum are referred to by researchers one party being in a restricted sociosexual relationship or viewpoint, and the other being at an unrestricted sociosexual viewpoint and interaction.
In the end, what we have is a power struggle or a dynamic between individuals who simply want sex and sexual variety versus others who want long term relationships. The success here is not simply dependent on the individual, but rather on the partner they find and choose for their own liking. A partner’s own behaviour and likes can be crucial for the socialsexual to find sex success or relationship in the spectrum they find themselves in.
As you can imagine. dating in this vast and wide spectrum of sociosexual can offer unique issues and challenges for the individual. Let us look at a few in this brief essay. The idea of mismatched individuals. That is one individual who wants constant variety of sex without any commitments while being in a relationship with a partner who wants the exact opposite.
The issues of jealousy come up in any form of relations, but particularly in a sociosexual relationship where the individual finds themselves at the far right of the spectrum. Not only jealousy, but insecurity. The reason being naturally one partner believing that the other may have relations outside of the normal monogamous relationships. Cheating, is a big concern here.
To combat this communication is the key. However, even with communications, there are various walls put up. Telling your partner particular sexual likes and the relationship norm you are comfortable and wanting can be very difficult in the early stages of a relationship. As well, telling your partner that one can have different sexual identities and orientations. And again, difficulty in explaining this to your partner, especially in the early stages of any form of a relationship.
This, of course, leads naturally to something we all don’t particularly care for. That is judgment from your partner. Not only may your partner judge you harshly, but perhaps even end the relationship. They also may look at you differently and place a form of a stigma or misunderstanding on you for your sexual likes. or orientation. While you may feel you are more open with your sexual preferences and likes than your partner, they may disagree with this and simply place you in a particular box or identity and look down upon you.
To conclude, let’s look at briefly some successful strategies one will need to find and maintain a loving relationship First one must be self aware of their own particular orientation in the sociosexual spectrum. Knowing yourself, you will then know what you’re looking for before you can cause further complicated issues for your dating life. So, always be open with your partner as soon as available, discuss your sexual preferences likes boundaries, and any other issue that you feel would be importance in sexual and physical intimacy. Three, always be clear and concise and your communication as much as you can.
Finally, always consider compatibility with your partner or the sexual nature and how you define it The closer you are in the sociosexual spectrum, the more success you will have in an overall relationship in the modern dating world.
Written By: Anthony Rand.