Hatfishing. When you first hear it, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Most would suggest something similar to catfishing, and you would not be wrong. Hatfishing falls under another category of cheating, lying. or attempting to mislead a potential partner or a date in the modern dating world. Catfishing is easy to spot as simply when a man in various dating apps and profiles show pictures of himself with a hat. This is true for most if not all of his photos.
The idea of wearing a hat is to deceive the person’s seeing the photo. However, most people would guess that what lies underneath the hat is not hair or very little of it. Especially if one see someone’s profile wearing too many hats. It’s that simple. However, for those who are bald or experiencing hair loss, they don’t want to have a disadvantage right off the get go in dating apps. They know for the dating sites photos are the number one primary attractor. So, let’s take a closer look at the aspects of hatfishing. and if it has any effects on both the person using the hats and the individuals watching the photos on various dating social apps.
As mentioned, hatfishing is simply a different version or a play on the word catfishing. Catfishing started off by a person in some manner lying or being outright deceptive in their means to trick an individual for various. Sometimes not even for romantic reasons but for the thrill itself of deception. Hatfishing is less severe and more easily to uncover. Some would say there is no harm here. While critics would argue there is a subtle harm that can become more significant.
What are the criteria or components of hatfishing? There are four in particular. First, is use of hats and any type of hat in mostly all your photos in dating profiles. Second, when you go out on dates, you always wear a hat as well. Third, in situations where one is expected to remove their hat whether in private or public, you keep it on. Finally, you continually delay disclosure of your lack of hair,or potential baldness to your mate. until it could be hidden no more.
Why has hatfishing increased year by year in various social apps and dating apps? The answer is quite easy. Social media - while some may not agree - expects a certain level of perfection or an image that is extremely positive. This can be seen by the abundance and some say mandatory use of Photoshop for women in dating ads. Therefore men are in some manner forced to compete with other men who have hair who have a leg up on them in this game. So, the bald men figure, why not start off on the proverbial equal footing where photo deception is done by all?
Now, let’s look at this fairly straightforward and simple reasons why men do this. Psychologists call the use of Hatfishing due to the standards of beauty that are forced upon us by society. Some say Hatfishing is not needed, since some argue that male baldness has been accepted and in some circles quite hip and cool. That’s a tough pill to swallow since I’m assuming most bald men would say they would rather have hair than not. However, the barometer of attractiveness certainly states that most women prefer men not only having hair, but a thick level of hair. So being bald right off the get go is a definite strike (unless of course you have a body to die for or a wallet stacked high).
Self image and self esteem. Not having hair can obviously have a effect on a man’s confidence and self esteem. Believing perhaps this may be one of the major woes to his dating life, one could understand why he attempts to hide it from the very beginnings of any potential relationship. The third reason would be rejection or fear of rejection. Who doesn’t feel bad being rejected? Height, weight, gender, personality and of course, baldness all can play issues separately or together in being rejected. And again, you can now see why an individual would attempt to hide their baldness. However, the bald dater must realize that this will come to and eventually. There is no hiding from it.
Competitive nature. In this day and age of social media beauty, men have become part of this game. Being competitive, wanting to win and get the person of your dreams. Again, therefore one can see why they are attempting to hide this. Finally, the strategy of delay. They hope by delaying the inevitable, they can get a foothold emotionally with someone over the course of time. That when they finally do show that they are bald, that their personality or check book will win the woman over. Always a possibility, but slim.
If you don’t think hatfishing is common, one of the most popular dating sites several years ago did a survey and asked men have they hatfished before. An astounding 33 per cent said they did. That shows exactly how prevalent hatfishing is on various dating apps and social media apps. Substantial indeed. Let’s look briefly at the effects of hat fishing. Usually men who hatfish, we have to admit, do receive more matches than ones who do not wear a hat and show their baldness. There’s no question that there’s some initial success in hatfishing. However, once the male finally does show that that he is bald, this will of course bring up an issue of trust with the other person. The person who sees them bald for the first time will ask themselves “why is this person lying to me”? Why did they hide the the fact that they are bald?. Also, what else are they hiding other than being bald? It’s a slippery slope which denigrates trust in building a romantic relationship.
Most women have stated when they found out the person was bald, they ended the relationship soon after. They believe it was wasted time and that the emotions that the invested in the startup of this new relationship were also wasted. In hindsight, rarely does any good come from hatfishing in the long term. Of course, hat fishing can also backfire on the individual in another way. No one really knows the number, but there is a certain percentage no matter how minor of people who would find baldness or hair loss more attractive in a person than being dishonest and hiding your baldness. That’s a risk or gamble most hatfishers are not willing to take in the beginning. They would rather err on the side of caution than be bold.
They will argue hatfishing is no different than how women touch up their photos to the point where it’s not even the same individual. These touch ups are for appearance or physical attributes. This can be an exaggeration of physical attributes or hiding physical attributes all on their own. So, men feel by hat-fishing they are not guilty, it’s only fair in the dating world. In the end, it’s up to the individual to decide when and how to tell the potential partner if they are bald. As well, if they’re comfortable in showing it up front, like Sean Connery did (more power to them). If they decide to take it slowly again, then that will be their decision, and success will be based on a per individual case in the hatfishing dating landscape.
Written By: Suxanne Pleshomers