Hypergamy. It’s not a word one comes across often either in print or social media. If you’re to do a cross section of individuals among very different demographics, cultures and gender identity most would probably have never heard of the work to begin with. What they do not realize is that this word has been around a very, very long time in different guises.
Most recently, this term has increased in popularity both in its use and stories. You read about it every day, even when it is not noticeable at first, This brief essay will look at Hypergamy. What it means to the individual. What it means to potential relationships. It’s use in modern dating, and it’s various impacts. on both culture and society.
Let’s first look briefly at what the term hypergamy really means. Its origins can be found and traced back to the Greek language. It simply means “higher” along with the inclusion of ”marriage”. Back then, it was usually a term given to a set of women who married higher in their economic status than they presently found themselves in. In today’s modern dating society, of course, hypergamy can be used for any sex, gender, or identity. This definition has also greatly expanded. When one is moving up it can be numerous things - economically, physically, culturally, and intellectually.
Propponents of Hypergamy have reduced it to several divisions - one of three separate types. The first form of hypergamy is what is referred to as “economic climbing”. This simply enough is when someone seeks someone who has more money, more education. or a higher social status. The latter, the social status, is the least popular since how one views a particular social status, how to define it and what it brings to the table in today’s age is certainly dependent on culture and primarily more money. For more money this is a form of a loop or a chicken and egg scenario - without the money you will not get the status. The second form of hypergamy is simply physical appearance - you are seeking a romantic or potential partner who is better looking than you.
Most would agree that most people seek to find someone who is an equal If not better looking than they are. Finally, the third type of hypergamy is a combination of two criteria, One being intellectual and the other being emotional higher up. This is when you actively seek a partner who has greater emotional intelligence than you do. Again, finding someone with greater emotional intelligence is a difficult feat. I would counter by saying a rare feat indeed. However, seeking somebody who’s more intellectually capable than you is a separate form of hypergamy that has its own term in other circles as being sapiosexual. Which is an offshoot where you are physically attracted to someone because of their intelligence.
As mentioned prior, hypergamy in media and print was originally referred to for women specifically. In today’s modern dating world it is used and available to all genders and all identities. The only difference is depending on one’s particular cultural norms, societal norms. Also, one’s own individuality and how they encounter and use hypergamy to their advantage. Some sociologists argue that hypergamy is actually built into our DNA. They look at this lens as an evolutionary trait where women would seek men who have more money. This would offer the woman protection for her potential family unit and children. They will also argue that for women
hypergamy was one of the few opportunities in their life to improve it substantially. History is littered throughout hypergamy examples. For example, one can easily look at various Royal lineages. Here you find women outside of nobility married into nobility to improve their circumstance. Another example would be the Indian caste system. Here there were particular rules for marrying up in a caste but not down in a caste. Some also look to Chinese history where traditionalists argued and instilled in individuals that you always must marry a family equal to or better than you to get higher up.
Now, society and cultures have evolved across the globe through open communication and the Internet. Yes, we have all changed fundamentally due to the internet age, However, that is not to say that certain hypergamy elements of tradition and history can still be found amongst various different cultures, peoples, genders and identities. Let’s take a brief look on how hypergamy can be found in the modern dating sphere.
For the first example of where hyper gaming can be found is quite easy. This is in the creation and popularity of online dating apps. One can see the lineage of hypergamy simply by looking at the filters in various dating apps. Here you can search a person not simply based on physical appearance but as well as how educated they are and how much money they make. This of course is the ultimate hypergamy definition in use.
Some say it can also be found through the women’s movement in the early 70’s as more women broke the glass corporate ceiling to receive higher pay and higher education. Still, with these advancements, career women still wanted to find a mate who exceeded their own limits. Next, we can turn our attention back to the Internet, namely social media. Social media has only increased hypergamy and its explosive attraction many times over. One only needs to look at the popular social app Instagram where individuals brag to the world either about their physical appearance or wealth. One could see the amount of attention it receives as well as individuals who try to interact and hook up with these people. Hypergamy to the maximum.
While many argue that hypergamy has truly influenced not only the modern dating world but marriage habits as well. They argue that individuals have formed a trend of marrying much later in life. Not only because they themselves want to be more established in either their education or income generation - but the longer they wait, the better chance they have of moving up with a partner. It’s also argued that hypergamy can be manifested in the ability to look for someone who is more emotionally intelligent. But again, the writer here feels this must be incredibly small. It is rare that we hear about it or is rarely a primary characteristic for any individual seeking a life partner.
To conclude, proponents of hypergamy say that it has numerous positive effects on an individual. Some argue that by the existence of hypergamy it forces individuals to self improve themselves. That if you want to attract a high net worth individual you yourself have to be worthy of it. The positive use of social mobility by improving your stature in life not only for yourself but your potential offspring. In the end they argue that hypergamy is an important function and hugely advantageous for you and your loved ones (particularly more so with the advent of the internet). One can now have many more varying connections which opens one up to many different and diverse experiences because of hypergamy and its acceptance in today’s world.
Written By: Joyce DeWitt