Intersex individuals in the modern dating world. These individuals are those who are born with characteristics, in particular physical sex characteristics, that can not be placed in either female or male bodies.
Being intersex and having a relationship, definitely brings challenges that are unique and different. However, with an open society, it also brings up larger opportunities and the possibility of having a fulfilling long-lasting and loving relationship. Larger opportunities today exist than prior for intersex individuals. The reason is more people have become more accepting and open to the idea that human sexual identity is no longer binary, male and female, but can be found in a wide spectrum, including intersex people.
This brief essay will look at the elements and criteria of having a successful relationship between intersex individuals and others in today’s modern world. The challenges they face in having a relationship, and the modern world’s true understanding of various gender identities, and the growing acceptance of this belief system. Looking at the definition of intersex, it is often used as an umbrella term. This means a very wide range of variations are included in the definition of intersex. One can find differences in a variety of physical and genetic areas such as hormone levels, chromosomes and secondary sexual characteristics. These differences can also be found in the gonads and genitalia. Various groups have struggled and found difficulty in deciding the percentage of intersex individuals in society, but some have say, it is as high as over 1% of the human population. If this is accurate, it would make it more common than what we were led to believe.
Those who identify as intersex have the ability to identify with any type of gender they feel comfortable with. By doing so, it opens up to many different, not only identities, but different experiences in the dating world. The diversity that exists here based on various sexual characteristics can offer a multiple and diverse experience to all those who identify as intersex. Let us be clear here that intersex is not simply one taking a particular identity and one’s gender but rather is a definitive set of characteristics of one’s biological nature. That is how intersex is defined.
Let us now look at some of the challenges that an individual can face in having a relationship of being intersex. Being intersex immediately brings certain challenges for maintaining and creating a happy relationship in the dating world. The first issue intersex individuals face is the concept of disclosure. The question always is - when to tell my potential partner and how to tell my potential partner. Prior to making this statement, intersex individuals have continuously stated that they have severe anxiety as to the reaction to the partner of their news. This is of course natural. Further anxiety can be given by their partner not understanding their position and identity, and even taking a one step further i.e. The relationship, calling everything to an end. So as one can see, disclosure is an enormous issue for an intersex individual in today’s dating world.
Another very serious issue can be an intersex individual’s history of medical treatment. This includes a history of mental trauma the intersex individual may have gone through throughout their lifetime, as well as to the many medical procedures. These procedures can lead to an intersex person feeling disassociated with their physical selves, lack of self confidence, and the ability no longer to trust any other individuals in a sexual or loving way. All these factors could play a crucial role and how an intersex person can interact in a relationship.
Another issue that can play an important role in having a successful relationship is that society puts a particular stigma on an intersex person. Does the average person simply understand them other than what they read in a social media brief snippets? Stigma can make intersex individuals feel that they are lonely in the world and that this can lead to physical as well as mental isolation. All of this only adds to the difficult task of finding someone.
Another issue is a much more complex issue - too complex for this brief essay to delve further into, is intersex identity. The long journey they must take throughout life in trying to understand themselves, their identity, and their sexuality. Again, all of these factors can play an important and pivotal role in how an intersect person acts, how they are treated both in their present and future relationships.
Remember that in many cities and societies, people who are intersex, still face challenges not only in social recognition, but as well as legal recognition. This can include documents for their identity and other issues. These problems, whether minor or major, can always potentially add fuel to the fire in a relationship, causing it greater complexity than needs to be. Regardless of these challenges that have been stated here, let us not forget that many intersex individuals go on to lead happy and healthy lives. Here’s some brief suggestions on how to do so.
The first and primarily the most important, is the idea of communication. The idea of communication, and being honest and open with your partner applies to all types of relationships, especially intersex relationships. For an intersex person, one would have to have serious and personal discussions with your mate about your sexuality, how you see yourself, how you identify yourself. The question is when? Also, the possible history of your medical records and any other boundaries you may think is relevant to the success of your relationship. In the end, having honest and open communication with your partner is paramount.
Another suggestion that intersex individuals would strongly recommend is telling your partner as many educational facts about being intersex. By providing information to your partner this will make them feel more at ease and more open to asking questions. All of this, no matter how minor, can help in having a fulfilling and satisfying relationship both sexual and non-sexual.
One of the most important aspect to anyone’s self identity, especially for an intersex person, is the ability to find support. This support can be found in many pockets or spheres of the community LGTBQ. By getting support it makes one feel better about their identity, about their sexuality, and in the end - most importantly - about themselves. So one should always look online for information and for help groups. Which can also lead help in person in the physical world as well. Both can offer help, support, and growth for an intersex person.
This support not only be limited to those spheres of influence, sometimes. we all need professional support as well. Proper counseling with professionals and therapy - for those who have a background in intersex issues - can provide tremendous help and support for those who believe they need it. The journey of being an intersex individual can be fraught with various issues, however, with the proper support and love, an intersex person can find happiness and love in the dating world.
Written By: Raul Jules.