Metrosexuality dating in the modern world. We first have to look at if “metrosexual” the term is even relevant any more. This is to be considered, since of all the gender identity variations that exist today.
Metrosexuality, it seems, is not about gender identity. Those who argue in its favour say it has reshaped, redefined. and expanded the term of what we consider masculinity to be. The original primary definition of metrosexuality is that it usually refers only to men who are heterosexual (this has been expanded in today’s world). These men in particular take great care and work in their outer appearance. Some would say not only appearance, but a particular lifestyle. The essay here will look at metrosexuality and does it have any impact in today’s modern dating world.
The first known time when the term metrosexual was used was actually written by a journalist by the name of Mark Simpson. This was in the year of 1994. Mark had used the word to describe men who lived in urban areas, and who were extremely concerned about their appearance to the outside world. Presentation of their looks was their prime importance in life. Mark at the time listed several key elements of what makes up a metrosexual man. And here they are.
The first and most common element in being a metrosexual man is having an interest in fashion. Add to that a meticulous, grooming, regimented schedule. Some would even argue a particular personal style. Side note: nothing was greater lampooned than the metrosexual man in an episode of South Park. Anyone watching that episode will be forever ingrained in one’s mind how they bastardized the metrosexual, and with good reason!
The second element in being metrosexual is men doing what was traditionally known as “feminine activities”. This would include but not limited to the following: manicures, pedicures, spa treatments and spending large amounts of time clothes shopping. Proponents would argue that a metrosexual were/are are much more open than the traditional male to receive perfume and makeup, which used to be usually a women’s only market
Further criteria in being a metrosexual is an interest in one’s living space and one’s choice is in how they live their life. Finally, some would argue that gender plays a role here and that metrosexual expanded the normative gender definition of what makes a male masculine. Let us be clear here, metrosexual or metrosexuality has nothing to do with one sexual orientation. Yes, it usually is for heterosexual men. However, that has been expanded to include all sexual orientations where one is bisexual or gay, or any other sexual identity. By ascribing to the lifestyle and belief of metrosexuality today is only defined by one’s interests and how they look to the world.
Some have argued that Metrosexuality is greater today than it was in the past. That it has shape shifted into other societal norms and bleeding into areas of where men were not expected to be interested in. The increase of men into these spheres of only women, that the standards of masculinity have been expanded and been accepted by the greater mass of society. Finally, the intrusion or inclusion of social media and the love of all things that are celebrities have also bled and vice versa into being metrosexual.
Proponents of Metrosexuality will argue that it still exists and has taken on a greater role than even before. That being metrosexual has changed and impacted the daily world in a very significant manner. However, critics will argue, this intrusion by males, and being a metrosexual causes greater problems in modern relationships. Others will say it is only a positive aspect and further increases your chance of having relationships. Let’s look at some of these issues to see how true they are.
For those who argue that metrosexuality helps a relationship, it does so by having a group of interests that both people of the relationship enjoy. This would primarily be the fashion lifestyle and of course, the grooming regiment. Critics would argue this could cause problems. For instance, the woman could see the male as less than masculine. The woman could also be disgusted by seeing a man spend more time in the washroom than she does. Vanity is not a good look on any individual, less so on a man.
Some would argue that by the high standards of the male being metrosexual, he would also want those high standards on the partner. This, of course, puts more pressure on the woman to look even better than her mate. Sometimes an impossible standard is imposed - a detriment on any relationship. My conclusion here is, if a man spends more time in the washroom than a woman fretting over his appearance, that relationship is to be doomed sooner or later. Gender roles and gender norms in a heteronormative relationship exist for a reason. Why they may not always be adhered to, they at least offer some guidance for what will and what will not work in a relationship.
Metrosexuals will point out that shopping for both sexes, when they have this common bond, only strengthens the relationship. The reason being since both individuals enjoy shopping and fashion. A fun way for the couple to spend time together. Those who are against it will argue that this may cause a strain due to competition for the types of clothes each individual wears. Also, this may increase the pressures of being able to compete against each other in the fashion world. In turn, this may cause jealousy, or even a strain in the financial wallet for both parties.
A pragmatist would argue that a man should never go shopping with a woman on a full time basis. It’s best to leave such matters on an individual basis, although you can seek to help of your significant other on certain fashion issues - which tends to be the case for most relationships However, if you intend to compete with your significant other in the fashion world, this will definitely cause problems either now or the near future. It is just not a good idea. Let’s briefly look at some of the negative consequences of someone being and living as a metrosexual. Metrosexuals have stated that at times there are significant times when their partner feels jealous or insecure about themselves. The reason being is that the women believe the men are getting much more attention than they are. This can cause friction between the two partners. The metrosexuals perspective is that there is nothing wrong with both partners receiving attention whether wanted or not. Also, the metrosexual man will say if he’s receiving more attention than the woman, then that means the woman is doing something wrong. That is some manner she has fallen behind in the perceived fashion game and therefore must do something.
The pragmatist would argue that If a male is spending too much time grooming himself and trying to attract more attention than a significant other there is an issue here that should not be here. Full stop. Metrosexuals also complain that by being metrosexual and being evident of it by most, that there becomes stereotypes of their sexuality. Such as, they are not straight males, that they possibly deviate from being a heterosexual to other sexual attractions. Of course, such stereotypes need not be true.
In conclusion, being interested in fashion and appearance is fine to a certain level. Once it becomes to the metrosexual level, problems can naturally arise. This potentially can cause problems in one’s relationship - problems that should not exist to begin with in a normative relationship.
Written By: Angela Lansdier