When people hear the word "personal energy" it's time for the tin foil hats! I'm here to tell you to put away the hats, and take a real close look at this truth.
- Introduction
- The Theory-Practice Gap
- Finding Your Power
- Conclusion – Energy protection
My Guide on Protecting Your Personal Energy
When most people hear phrases like - “protect your personal energy” - we instantly imagine that Instagram quote under a photo of a girl sipping her green smoothie in her beautiful white meditation room. I participated in a Zoom meeting once with a professional top layered over pajamas and cat hair on my bottom. Protecting your energy isn’t about aesthetics (although it would help), it is about survival.
Life as a Millennial Woman Online in the digital drain.
Recall how we believed the internet would simplify our lives? Laughs in 37 browser tabs. Having been born into a world with gadgets, I’ve seen this tiny tyrant replace my comfort. I’m talking about the phone always in my possession. Two nights back, I was up till 2 am scrolling through my old co-worker’s cousin’s dog walker’s vacation pictures instead of sleeping. Why? I guess my thumb developed a mind of its own.
A notification from my phone triggers an involuntary response stronger than Pavlov's dogs. I get a rush of cortisol, like seeing a predator, when I see my phone light up. But it was not a lion or a wolf; just my food app telling me little there is a taco sale. We receive little notifications in this world with our senses. It is challenging to keep focused on identity, as we are.
The Self-Care Industry: Wellness Underneath it All.
The irony of modern self-care isn't lost on me. We are told to guard our energy with over-the-top rituals that – wait for it? Costs more energy and money than we gain. A month back, I was influenced enough to buy a jade roller for $70 to supposedly “realign my energetic field.” Long story short, I ordered it at midnight assuming it would help.
The numbers back this up. According to the Global Wellness Institute, the wellness industry is worth a $4.5 trillion dollar market. Americans spend roughly $1,908 a year for self-care products and services for each individual, on average. Women feel the pressure to self-care according to a survey. Further, 65% of women feel pressure to do self-care while 42% feel the guilt of not doing it.
It has made self-care just another task on our never-ending to-do list. With constant reminders for “hot girl walks” and meditation apps stressing me out, protecting my energy is another part-time job but requires so much money and pays nothing.
Knowing better doesn’t mean doing better, here’s why this is.
Knowing about boundaries is not enough. Likewise, implementing them is a different game altogether and I still haven’t been eligible for the Olympics. For instance, last Christmas I baked a variety of three tidbit cookies at midnight for a family thing even though I told everyone I wouldn’t be baking this year. Why? When I say "no" to my mother, I feel such a guilt trip that Catholic school looks like child's play.
Maintaining boundaries requires emotional energy which may cost us more than the energy we save. It is like putting in a costly alarm that costs more than the things you are protecting.
Finding Your Power Without Becoming a Jerk.
Not wanting to waste your energy doesn't mean becoming that guy that ghosts everyone or brings his own food to gatherings. I'm working on balance, something between human doormat and completely unavailable hermit.
The Theory
Finding Out Why You Use Energy.
awareness makes us powerful in all this energy talk. I've discovered my own energy suckers. Things like the friend who rings with problems only (never solutions), social media accounts that have me thinking I'm failing at life and the pants with waistbands that aggravate me but that I still wear because they were so expensive.
I have created a personal energy grid for myself by noting down the things that drained me and the things that energizes me. Work meetings after 3 PM? Energy apocalypse. Morning walk with no podcast, just birds and my thoughts? Energy jackpot. I feel in control due to this awareness which no crystal or affirmation ever gave me.
Self-care can turn into self-blame.
The downside of energy shielding is that if you're tired, it's because you did not shield your precious energy well enough. After a difficult week last month, I remember thinking, “If only I did more meditating, I wouldn’t feel this way,” and I thought this while working with three deadlines and dealing with my family on a health issue.
There are days when no amount of boundary-setting or self-care helps; everything feels draining. Structural complications are usually translated into personal complications according to us. The energy protection framework can contribute to this.
Not everything should fit; use the intersectionality lens.
As a middle-class white woman, I am privileged in my energy depletion situation. My black friend says she uses up energy avoiding microaggressions that I never worry about. My friend with a disability says she spends her energy on accessibility issues before she even gets out of bed.
Research confirms these disparities. A 2022 study in the Journal of Health Disparities Research found that women of color experience 60% more workplace stress than white women. Being cool and fitting in is highly valued in our society and naturally, a price is attached. A research conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation estimated that ‘code-switching’ which means behaviourally modifying oneself to fit the dominant cultural norm, incurs an emotional tax ‘costing’ 25% of mental energy available. According to a survey by the Disabled Women’s Collective, women with disabilities put in an additional average of 12 hours a week on advocacy for logistics and accessibility.
When it comes to personal energy, we often suppress the differences and find solutions in common for specific issues. Many people might find that my morning "energising" routine is something they cannot do physically or affordably. Just because they are successful with something doesn’t mean it will work for you, nor are they wrong or bad.
Finding your Power and Making It Work in the Real World.
Practical Steps That Don't Require Moving to a Monastery.
I’ve had a lot of hits and misses previously, but there are practical approaches to energy protection that don’t involve retiring to a monastery.
Simple things I do every day, like checking my phone only after doing a five-minute check-in with myself first in the morning, have helped more than weekend retreats. When I started to say ‘let me get back to you’ instead of the automatic ‘yes’, it saved me a LOT of hours of resentment. Understanding that I need help, whether it’s a therapist, a friend’s opinion, or even just a nap changes everything for me
The Sustainable Energy Practices Long Game.
Energy protection is sustainable when we progress and not when we perfect. Some days I rock it, I’ve got my boundaries, and I’m present. On other days, I scroll through doom at 2 AM while eating cheese from the fridge. It's important to be conscious without judgement.
This approach is supported by behavioral science. When you factor everything, do your best, and don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. But don’t make it any simpler than that. There are four sorts of patterns. Interestingly, the study also found that self-compassion after breaking a streak made it 60% more likely to continue the habit than self-criticism.
What Protection Can Do For You.
A concise survey implies that it is interesting but not very mind-blowing in nature. It’s also true that streak breaking matters. It's been deeper connections. By being intentional about my energy, I can have more meaningful relationships and experiences. I’ve stopped being everything to everyone and I’m being much more real with a select few.
According to data from the Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest-running survey on happiness—the quality of our relationships matters most when it comes to our happiness, not wealth, fame, or accomplishment. A survey conducted by Gallup after Roberts and colleagues found that those who reported 3-5 close friends scored 23% more on life satisfaction metrics than those who reported 6 or more friends.
Conclusion.
To Protect One's Best Energy Is a Radical Act.
We live in a society that is designed to drain us, preserving our energy is not selfish, it is revolutionary. We are taking back our time, focus, and ability to find happiness from structures that would gladly empty us. It will take imperfect, ongoing work with personal limits and collective action.
When a meeting is called that could easily have been an email or when your social media feeds make you feel inadequate, remember: reclaiming your energy isn’t just self-care, it is self-preservation. Sometimes, just closing those 37 tabs and having a nap can help us survive.
Readers' Tools
- Digital Detox Strategies: Limiting screen time .
- Boundary-Setting Techniques: Learning to say no .
- Sustainable Self-Care: Small, effective habits
- Navigating Energy Vampires: Identifying relationships.
- Mindful Social Media Use: Avoiding comparisons
Bio
Beth - a 25-year-old portland woman who’s equal parts introspective and irreverent. Her adulthood a mix of overthinking and optimism. A firm believer in “realistic self-care,” she’s learned (the hard way) that energy protection isn’t about expensive wellness trends—it’s about survival.