Swerving in a relationship. What does it mean to you? The general consensus is, that when you hear the word swerving it is the opposite of going in a straight direction. So one could guess if using this in relationship’s terms that’s it is some form of a negative connotation.
The digital term swerving can be a complex issue or a simple singular problem that occurs in everyday relationships - regardless of sex, gender or identity. Swerving is certainly one of the most recent and popular term in modern dating relationships. This brief essay will look at swerving and how it serves its purpose in relationships, Its definition, how it comes about, how it affects you and how to put a potential stop to it. Let’s first look at the basic definition of the term. The word swerve comes from the verb “to swerve”. This simply means there is an abrupt directional change, and its use and reference is for a relationship. Example, it means when your partner has suddenly and abruptly moved away from the relationship. There are various red flags for this. Example, not as interested in you as before and much less engagement. In addition, certainly much less talking and communication with you - whether it be on personal matters or non personal matters.
In fact, several noted psychologists have stated swerving takes its roots or form within communication or lack thereof of it. They describe a usual pattern is that of a person who is interested in whatever you have to say - in whatever form of communication, whether in person or text, over a period of a short period of time. Now, all of a sudden they become much more distant to from your communication. This means they become much more distant to you. This sudden change is called a swerve. Once it happens to you, of course it can leave the person anxiety ridden, confused, and obviously hurt as to what happened to the relationship.
Let’s look at the main and various signs of your partner swerving in a relationship. First note, one must try to see swerving before it actually manifests itself into much more something serious. Most say that swerving can actually cause severe damage, a damage that can not be undone. The idea of damage not being undone is a complex issue and some may disagree with that assessment. However, the point is taken, that you want to minimize as much damage as possible to oneself in the early swerve.
The first and most obvious sign of swerving is that your communication has decreased substantially with your partner. It’s not only a decrease in communication both in person and in the digital world but the quality of that communication as well. This swerve can manifest itself in a variety of means - less meetups, much less phone calls, and much less text communication. Coldness. When we discuss coldness it is referred to what psychologists call emotional coldness. This is when your partner is much less affectionate towards you, much less caring towards what you have to say, and much less intimate with you. The intimacy may not be strictly limited to physical intimacy but also emotional intimacy. This is when your partner intentionally distances themselves from you. One needs to recognize this swerve as quickly as possible and bring up the issue immediately.
Another red flag of swerving in a relationship is when your partner begins to cancel plans. Not simply cancelling plans but having a frequency or pattern to them. Add to this issue, when you ask them about their cancellations the reasons begin to seem flimsy, and this pattern of poor excuses continues. Effort. As we all know, effort diminishes over time towards your partner, depending how long you’ve been in a relationship. However, there are times in the beginning, the first stages of a relationship where there is always effort.
When a swerve occurs here, there is a noticeable lack of effort in trying to keep the relationship moving in a positive direction. As well, a lack of effort in sharing any type of activity or doing any activity with you as you would have done before. As above, we mentioned swerving in a relationship when you see a decrease in intimacy. We would argue the most important form of intimacy is physical intimacy or sexual activity. Of course, if you see a steep drop off here, you immediately know there is a problem. Yes, a lack of sexual activity is one of the first signs of swerving in a relationship. You must get to the root of the cause of this as soon as possible. Even questioning your partner can be a sign of swerving. This can be seen by the answers they give. It can point to a red flag that you may be having a swerving relationship. For example, if the answers given by your partner are not very good, ill informed, lack facts or are intentionally quite vague. Some psychologists say asking repeated questions can even lead the other partner swearing or outbursts of anger by your questions. That too can be a red flag for swerving.
Final Comments
Finally, many people who have admitted to being in a relationship that had swerved point to the most notable signs that they have no longer became a priority. That their partner began to prioritize other people, putting other relationships above their own. For example, when your partner decides to spend much more time with his friends or much more time with his family. This can be a very touchy subject amongst partners. Those who swerve in a relationship offer a litany of reasons - some valid and some less so. Briefly looking at these reasons, we can see some of the following. Some swervers state that they cannot commit or have a huge fear of commitment. Others talk about it’s not you, it’s me routine. That they have issues primarily personal that affects them and how they view relationships. Sometimes it simply is a relationship has run its course. Or one has lost interest in you and there’s not much you can do. While others talk about stress outside of the relationship affecting their relationship with you - work, friends, and family,
In the end, swerving has probably occurred to all of us at one time or another. Be it young love or a mature relationship most of us have felt swerving. In the end, the only thing a person can do in a swerving relationship is try to find out as soon as possible and confront the issue head on. See if changes can be made to put the relationship back on track. At times this may not be possible, and someone will have to admit the finality of a relationship. It’s a case by case relationship for swerving in the modern digital world.
Written By: Joyce DeWitt