Two spirit dating and relationships in the modern world. How to find love and love your identity in communities that recognize themselves as purely indigenous.
The idea or concept of two spirits is unique. Certainly unique not only in the identity of sexuality, but as well as the cross relationship of culture. The culture being Native American is an important one to the individual and his personal connection to the community.
A two spirit person will have unique issues and identity, as well as complexity, The experience of being too spirit and dating in the LGTBQ+ plus community will have various challenges discussed in this brief essay. We’ll discuss the strategy for finding someone, love and having a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Let’s first define what two spirit definition is. The notion of two spirit falls under a very large and modern umbrella. Proponents in the indigenous community described two spirit as someone who is feminine. both feminine and masculine, and masculine. Many say indigenous cultures were the first to realize that people do not have to fit into the two main categories of man and woman. The word two spirit was actually created at an LGBTQ+ meeting in the early 1990’s. The reason for this term was to describe masculine, feminine, and non binary in a way that was different and separate from the western version. As well as an ability to provide a social tie to their heritage and indigenous community.
General Society makes the mistake of believing that two spirit is somehow an identification for one term or another such as being gay, bisexual or transgender. That is not what two spirit is. Two spirit could be a wide variety of various aspects of sexual identity under the sexual umbrella such as orientation, gender and culture. How all of them intersect with each other is what makes it unique. The two spirit person has many options available to them in terms of sexual identity - I can be a man, a woman, or being either, or both. My identity can vary in this umbrella depending on the person and the indigenous tribe they are in. Let’s look now at some of the issues and problems of two spirits individual’s in the dating modern world.
The first issue would be. a lack of connection with their cultural identity. Proponents argue two spirit individuals feel weighted down by previous colonization. Being forced by Western Society into a particular gender normative role. They say all this historical suppression has made it difficult for them to come true and self identify as two spirit.
Another common theme or issue is discrimination - not simply discriminated by their two spirit identity and the normative world, but rather discrimination within the LGBT community, and their own indigenous community. This discrimination can take many forms and takes many places of spheres of influence. thereby offering a complex circumstance and the modern dating world. Common dating theme for two spirits is that the state of their dating pool is not as large as other recognized or more popular identities under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. The ability to find someone who not only loves you, but understands both your identity and your two spirit identity. The importance of your indigenous culture to find someone similar to you obviously is limited in the dating pool.
Some two spirits speak of historical trauma that affects their dating relationships. They speak of colonization that impacted them or their family members severely. They call this intergenerational trauma. when one family member passes it on to the next generation - and so on. The effect here is on one self identity and one of self confidence. This, of course, can carry itself into various relationships, including personal, sexual and love. Two spirits also talk about the lack of two spirit representations in the media world whether online, digital magazines, film or television. There is very little to no representation of 2 spirit characters - no role models especially, that make it is difficult to see a two spirit relationship in any facet of sex or love encounters.
The idea of expectations in indigenous communities are similar, if not even more stringent to gender roles that are traditional. They expect and expectations are to be and based on heteronormative. This expectation combined with all the other societal pressures can make coming out as a two spirit person can make dating more difficult than other gender identities. This leads us into our next issue - the continual explanation of your identity to your peers, family and future partners. Two spirits speak of continual stress and tiredness. I’ts been explained that this identity can offer complications in trying to find an individual to date with. This can be very taxing and draining emotionally and physically to one’s health and spirit.
Regardless of these issues two spirit individuals obviously have success in the modern dating world. Not only finding relationships, but having long lasting relationships. Let’s look at first some strategies that perhaps can help a 2 spirit individual or an individual dating a 2 spirit person. Reach out to others in the two spirit community both online and offline. Here you will most certainly find some form of friendships even leading to romance. Also, the ever important support group and structure one needs when identifying as two spirit. Let us also not forget the many social events in the LGBTQ+ community - both in the overall gender identity umbrella as well as specific indigenous days.
To increase in ones mental health, which is always a good thing - and helpful when it comes to forging sexual and dating partners. The idea here is to improve one’s mind and health to reclaim your roots in identity not only sexually, but as well as an indigenous individual. There is a whole host of network possibilities in the indigenous communities, wether within or without the two spirit identification. Communication is always an important aspect in any relationship, if not one of the major elements of a long lasting relationship. Always make sure to be open, honest and clear with your partner Not only as to your needs, but as to your identity. What you and what both of you expect in this relationship and how to forge happiness moving forward The key component of a two spirit relationship would be making sure that your partner is educated and informed about your identity. Not only your sexual identity or your gender identity, but as well as your indigenous identity and their cultural aspects that are attached with it
Of course, there are various dating platforms to use for the two spirit community. Some are more general in use, while others are more gender specific and identity specific in various LGBTQ + apps. The best case is simply try a few abs and see which work and which don’t. We believe the greater success is found in those apps. We specifically mentioned two spirit gender identities - the greater the acceptance, and the easier it is for you to find a partner in the modern dating world. In addition, if one has the time and resources, it is always enjoyable to reach out, exploring. and attending various LGTBQ+ plus events, particularly those that include specifically indigenous individuals under the gender identity umbrella.
Written By: Joyce DeWitt